Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Employment Search

Volume 10, Issue 05 Friday, February 01, 2008

Hello All,

COMMUNICATION NOTICE: We are switching Internet Service Providers and, as of February 28, our e-mail address will change. You can contact us at kc5hii@gmail.com.
~~~~~
As Winston Churchill said; "Democracy is the worst form of government except for all those others that have been tried."

Our form of government guarantees that we will seldom look past the end of our nose. But this flawed system has produced a nation like no other on earth. We've offered up our youth time and again to support the oppressed. In war, we often left the nations we defeated better off than they had been originally.

I don't have a solution for the short sightedness of the electorate. But we can't stop trying. Like Rodney King said; "Can't we just all get along?"

Until that happens, I would hope that those with a national audience would use it to remind people to "Cast their bread upon the water" and not seek immediate benefit.

After all, we'd like for our kids to have a home.
~~~~~
The Albemarle Relay for Life Team needs your help for our "eBay for Relay" fundraiser. We really need any items you could donate for our eBay sales. The guidelines are posted on the bulletin board explaining what "eBay for Relay" is.

Please, if you have any items you could donate that would bring a minimum of $25.00, contact one of the Relay Team and we'll see that it gets posted.

The money is going to a really great cause, and with the $25.00 minimum, we can get the Albemarle matching funds.

Thanks for your help and continued support of RELAY!

Cindy Borne
~~~~~
Congratulations to Matt Morse and Sarah on the birth of their daughter! Charlotte Marie was born 1/29/08 at 4:12 p.m. - she was 20" long, 7 pounds, with a head full of brownish auburn hair!
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First Baptist Church Open Taco Supper is coming Feb 21, from 5-7:00 pm. Tickets are $8 each. The meal includes beverage & dessert.
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This past weekend Albemarle was featured on the entire first page of the business section of The (Baton Rouge) Advocate. The article referenced a $26 million expansion in the Baton Rouge area in the next two years. The article features the history of Albemarle and the future for Albemarle.

In case you missed the article we have attached a link for you: http://www.2theadvocate.com/news/business/14399157.html

Another article about Albemarle in the same section: http://www.2theadvocate.com/news/business/14400327.html
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - -
~~~~~
Greetings:

I am back in Iraq, currently in South Baghdad on FOB Falcon with 1-4Cav. This battalion is doing so well with counterinsurgency that it has not been attacked a single time since 9 September 2007. Their area was one of the worst in all Iraq before they got here.

Men of Valor Part VII [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/men-of-valor-part-vii-of-viii.htm] (from my time with British troops in late 2007) is published.

My book "Moment of Truth in Iraq" [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/moment-of-truth-in-iraq.htm] is a work in progress; information about ordering advance (signed) copies is available here: Moment of Truth in Iraq.

There is not enough time to write long dispatches while the book is still in progress; I plan to run a lot of missions during February. But I will try to publish short dispatches nearly daily through February. I will not send an email with each new dispatch, so please check the site frequently.
There likely will continue to be an increase in US casualties as a result of the fact that Iraqi and American forces have their teeth sunk deeply into al Qaeda in northern Iraq. Iraqi and American forces are crushing the wind out of al Qaeda, but the enemy still has strength and is fighting hard.

V/r,
Michael Yon
Baghdad
~~~~~
This week we continued reading; “The Coldest Winter: America and the Korean War" by David Halberstam
We plan on reading: “The innocent man” by John Grisham, “A war of gifts: an Ender story” by Orson Scott Card, “Death benefits: a novel” by Thomas Perry, “Sliver of truth” by by Lisa Unger.
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http://www.shelfari.com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
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If you’d like to write Dr. Antoon, he’d like to hear from you. This is his current address, the latest of the three federal prisons’ he’s been in.
Patrick Antoon #06669-010
Federal Prison Camp-La Tuna
P. O. Box 8000
Anthony, NM/TX 88021
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The photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include photos of local EMTs at Amanda Warren’s recent refresher training as well as a GREAT shot of Ethan.
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat4Q07.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Oven Fried Chicken

Fried chicken is a prime candidate for a healthy makeover. We decreased the calories and fat by almost half with the following changes:

The first step was to remove the skin, since that contains the most fat.
Second was to bake the pieces. We knew we would be halfway home simply by changing the cooking technique, but then had to create a faux fried texture.
We sampled many different coatings, from bread crumbs (even Japanese panko) to cereals of all types, falafel mix, crackers and crushed corn chips. We liked the flavor that a corn and rice cereal added and the crispiness a dry bread-cracker (like bagel chips or Melba toasts) gave the chicken, so we combined the two for a tasty, crispy coating.
Getting the coating to stick was another matter — we tried buttermilk, egg white, plain milk and yogurt coatings. A light brushing of low fat mayonnaise finally did the trick. Not only did the mayonnaise make the coating stick, it mirrored the texture of the removed skin. The combination coating, with a hint of mustard in the mayonnaise, garnered rave reviews from all tasters. (Check out the entry on developing this recipe in the Food Network Blog.) - - Make this recipe

Oven Fried Chicken From Food Network Kitchens

1 1/3 cups rice-corn crispy cereal, (recommended: Crispex)
2 1/4 cups broken bagel chips or melba toast
1 tablespoon canola oil
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon sweet paprika
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup light mayonnaise
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
4 bone-in, skinless chicken pieces (about 6 ounces each) See Cook's Note

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Set a rack on a foil lined baking sheet. Spray the rack generously with cooking spray.
Finely grind the cereal and toasts together in a food processor. Transfer crumbs to a large gallon size plastic bag. Add the oil, salt, cayenne, paprika, and ground pepper and toss to mix thoroughly. Whisk the light mayonnaise and Dijon mustard together in a medium shallow bowl. Add chicken to mayonnaise and turn to coat all the pieces evenly. Drop the chicken into the plastic bag, seal and shake until each piece is evenly coated. Place coated pieces on the prepared rack. Spray the chicken pieces evenly with cooking spray, and bake until the coating crisps and browns and an instant-read thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the pieces registers 160 degrees F, 35 to 40 minutes.
Transfer to a platter and serve hot or at room temperature.

Cook's note:
We like to cook the chicken on the bone for a real moist and juicy chicken experience. If you can't find bone-in skinless chicken, simply pull off the skin before coating. Chicken breast halves can be quite large. To get a healthy 6 ounce portion, cut the breast pieces crosswise with a heavy knife into pieces about the same size as a chicken thigh.

Nutrition Information
Calories 434 Total fat 18 grams
Saturated fat 2.7 grams Carbohydrates 25 grams
Protein 42 grams Fiber 1.7 grams
Sodium 1550 mg
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Yield: 4 servings
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Yield: 4 servings

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_34564_PRINT-RECIPE-FULL-PAGE,00.html
Copyright © 2006 Television Food Network, G.P., All Rights Reserved
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
'Follow the Lord Jesus'
2/1/2008

Black History Month

It’s Black History Month—and in classrooms around the country, children have been learning about famous African-Americans and their contributions to our culture. That’s a good thing. But there is one thing most kids have not been learning about many of these famous men and women: that is, their Christian faith and how it motivated their lives and their work.

For instance, Sojourner Truth is often identified as a women’s rights advocate and abolitionist. Overlooked is the source of Sojourner’s fiery devotion to human rights: That was her commitment to Jesus Christ. “The Lord gave me the name Sojourner,” she declared, “because I was to travel up and down the land, showing people their sins, and being a sign unto them.” At age 88, her dying words were, “Follow the Lord Jesus.”

And then there is Rosa Parks. Many people know the story of the seamstress who helped ignite the modern civil-rights movement. But far fewer people know that Parks is a devout Christian and that it was her faith that gave her the strength to do what she did that day in 1955. “Since I have always been a strong believer in God,” she says, “I knew that He was with me, and only He could get me through that next step”—that is, refusing to give up her seat on a bus to a white man.

Our kids have also been hearing a lot about Jackie Robinson’s quiet dignity in the face of racial bigotry on the ball field. But many do not realize the source of Robinson’s ability to turn the other cheek: It was his faith in Jesus Christ. During his 10 years with the Dodgers, he endured racist remarks, death threats, and unfair calls by umpires. But Robinson’s faith helped him keep his anger in check. Every night, he got on his knees and prayed for self-control.

Most people know that George Washington Carver was a chemist and agronomist. Born a slave in 1860, Carver rose to become director of agricultural research at Tuskegee University in Alabama. He is remembered for developing 118 derivative products from sweet potatoes and 300 from peanuts—including my favorite food, peanut butter. Thanks to his efforts, by 1940, peanuts were the second largest cash crop in the South. But go to his name in the encyclopedia, and you will find no reference to the most important aspect of his life: how his faith in God inspired his creativity.

“I didn’t make these discoveries,” Carver once said. “God has only worked through me to reveal to His children some of His wonderful providence.”

Stories like these are a reminder of what a central role the Christian faith has played in the lives of many great Americans. We Christians need to reclaim our cultural heritage from those who seem intent on deleting it from history books—and from Black History Month celebrations. So I urge you: Before the month ends, make sure your own kids learn about the abiding faith of Sojourner Truth, Rosa Parks, Jackie Robinson, George Washington Carver, and, of course, the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. And consider donating some of the good biographies written about these people to local schools and libraries—biographies that tell the whole story.

Our kids deserve to know, not only of African-American contributions to science, politics, and culture, but also of those individuals’ commitments to Christ.

This commentary first aired on February 24, 2003.

Please help the worldview ministry of BreakPoint with a generous tax-deductible gift today to help us continue strong this year. Donate online or call 1-877-322-5527.

Mary G. Butler, “Sojourner Truth: A Life and Legacy of Faith,” Sojourner Truth Institute of Battle Creek.

Mary G. Butler, “The Words of Truth,” Heritage Battle Creek: A Journal of Local History 8 (Fall 1997).

W. Terry Whalin, Sojourner Truth: American Abolitionist, from the Heroes of the Faith series (Barbour, 1997).

BreakPoint Commentary No. 990625, “The Woman on the Bus: The Faith of Rosa Parks.”

Rosa Parks and Gregory J. Reed, Quiet Strength: The Faith, the Hope, and the Heart of a Woman Who Changed a Nation (Zondervan, 2000).

BreakPoint Commentary No. 980217, “Baseball’s ‘Great Experiment’: The Jackie Robinson Story.”

Sally M. Walker, Jackie Robinson (Carolrhoda Books, 2002).

Sam Wellman, George Washington Carver: Inventor and Naturalist, from the Heroes of the Faith series (Barbour, 1998).

BreakPoint Commentary No. 030117, “Fighting Unjust Laws: Remembering Martin Luther King, Jr.”

Mervyn A. Warren, King Came Preaching: The Pulpit Power of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (InterVarsity, 2001).

Kevin Belmonte, William Wilberforce: A Hero for Humanity (Zondervan, 2007).

© 2008 Prison Fellowship http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
disheveled: in loose disorder; disarranged.
disheveled: in loose disorder; disarranged.
caterwaul: to make a harsh cry or screech.
indelible: incapable of being removed or erased.
neophyte: a novice.
sylvan: pertaining to woods or forests.
canorous: melodious; musical.
irascible: easily provoked to anger.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm." - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
- Marcus Aurelius

Don't fight the problem, decide it.
George C. Marshall

I was very careful to send Mr. Roosevelt every few days a statement of our casualties. I tried to keep before him all the time the casualty results because you get hardened to these things and you have to be very careful to keep them always in the forefront of your mind.
George C. Marshall

If man does find the solution for world peace it will be the most revolutionary reversal of his record we have ever known.
George C. Marshall

When a thing is done, it's done. Don't look back. Look forward to your next objective.
George C. Marshall
~~~~~
Link List
[http://gasprices.mapquest.com]
[http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/]
[www.terryscomputertips.com]
[www.mcc2000.net]
[http://blog.safetyservicescompany.com/Default.aspx]
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Ethiopian Woman Raised from the Dead after 12 Hours—Tells about Heaven
Arizona "Choose Life" License Plate Ruled Constitutional by Appeals Court
Pastor Starts New Program to Put Chaplains in Bar
300 New York Church Leaders Meet in Rural Pennsylvania for Upper Room Experience with Jesus

A Vision of Heaven Turns into Reality as Committed Youth Prepare for Pure, Simple, Undistracted Jesus Worship in Kansas Field
Athletes in Action Hosts Superbowl Breakfast 2008
Canadian Newspaper Revisits Archaeological Evidence of Race of Giant Men
Evangelicals in German Speaking Europe: Focus on Prayer

Middle East Blanketed by Rare Snowfall
Transplant Breakthrough could Mean the End of Long-term Anti-rejection Drugs
Boy Who Found and Returned Lost Cash Says God Taught Him to be Honest
College That Was Going to Deny Certificate to Journalism Student Because She Wrote About Her Faith Reverses Its Decision

Amazing Scene as 200 Kenyan Children, On Their Own Initiative, Pray for their Country and Get Miraculous Results
Missionaries in Kenya relate stories of hope despite ongoing tension
Scientists, Intrigued by Mystery of Starling Formations, Make Surprise Discovery
Christians around the World Focus on Praying for France

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Employment Search

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor/ Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by F-Secure before it was sent.
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My employment search preoccupied our family for months. One day my husband told our three boys that to make things easier for me, he had a list of jobs for them.
They were all silent until our six-year-old spoke up: "When are the interviews?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Grandpa's Driving

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say, 'Idiot!' afterwards."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Memory Improvement

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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I knew that as I was getting older, I was finally able to admit that certain things were starting to "slip". In an effort to prevent this memory "slippage", I went enthusiastically to a three-hour seminar on memory improvement.
After an hour I slipped out. I took the same course, given by the same professor, last year.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Country Tunes

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp. I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it.
After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Jean Squeeze

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans. Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of the house?"
"No, dear, not at all," he replied, "Our house isn't blue."
He is almost over the cold he caught sleeping in the garage for 3 nights.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "Laughter is the shortest \ /
\ _/ distance between two people." \_ /
/ / -- Victor Borge \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / "I know that you believe that \ \_/ ////
\ / you understood what you think \ /
\ _/ I said, but I am not sure you \_ /
/ / realize that what you heard \ \
is not what I meant."
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The most destructive force \ /
\ _/ in the universe is gossip. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you have trouble getting \ /
\ _/ your children's attention, just \_ /
/ / sit down and look comfortable. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / On anniversaries, the wise \ /
\ _/ husband always forgets the past \_ /
/ / ... but never the present. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| _ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@slonet.org |
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor |
|____________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.'
Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.'
John added, 'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.'
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, 'Such big-shots back there'. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy.'
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This reminds me of the time my mother’s brother, Fort, challenged her to a cussing contest (I’d guess they were about 10 years old at the time.)

Iris said “Sure.” and Fort challenged her “You go first.”

Iris looked around and shouted “D__n Fly!”

Whereupon Fort ran to their mother shouting “Iris said a bad word. Iris said a bad word.”

My mother chased him and caught him just as their mother came out the back door.

Miss Mary listened to Fort and then asked my mother “Did you say that?” My mother tried to explain but Miss Mary cut her off and asked again “Did you say that?”

My mother had to admit that, yes, she had said that. So she got a whipping.

Unusually, I don’t think she ever got Fort back.
~~~
LEARNING TO CUSS

A 6 year-old and 4 year-old are upstairs in their bedroom.

'You know what?' says the 6 year-old. 'I think it's about time we started cussing.'

The 4 Year-old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year-old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'h__l' and you say something with 'B__t.'

The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies,

'Aw h__l Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.'

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. She locks him in his room and shouts, 'You can stay in there until I let you out.' She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year-old and asks with a stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man? 'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but you can bet your b__t it won't be Cheerios.'

Thanks to Ronnie Reynolds
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A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab.

I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Saw a billboard that said:

"Need help, call Jesus."
1-800-005-3787
...Out of curiosity I did.
A Mexican showed up with a tow truck

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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A leading Presidential candidate is for banning all guns in America. She is considered by those who have dealt with her as a little more than just a little self-righteous. At a recent rural elementary school meeting in north Florida she asked the kids audience for total quiet.
Then, in the silence, she started to slowly clap her hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, she said into the microphone, 'Every time I c lap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence.'
*
*
*
A young voice with a proud southern accent (probably Little Johnny) from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet! 'Well, stop clapping, stupid'.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!
The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
True story... Have a great day and remember... THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH:
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"" The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment the n said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Sa tan stuff?"The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad."

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing!

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Football Newby

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"

Received from AcraMax Jokes.

(-:][:-)

Accident Report

Because I was processing my first accident report at the transport company where I worked, I was being particularly attentive.
The driver had hit a deer on the highway, and the result was a severely damaged hood and fender. My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached the section of the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?"
The driver had put, "Full gallop."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Wal-Mart Greeter

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, he called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang on job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They said, 'Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, sir?'"

Received from Rhonda Shiffler.

(-:][:-)

Vacuum Salesman

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a really mean, tough-looking lady opens the door. Before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps garden soil all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every bit of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
Received from AcraMax Jokes.

(-:][:-)

A Great Cup of Tea

This is taken from the Dr. James Dobson Bulletin for June 1998.

Have you noticed that children sometimes try to be helpful, but it makes your life more complicated?
I heard a story about a mother who was sick with the flu. Her darling daughter wanted to be a good nurse. She fluffed the pillows and brought a magazine for her mother to read. And then she showed up with a cup of tea.
"You're such a sweetheart," the mother said as she drank the tea. "I didn't know you could make tea."
"Oh, yes," the little girl replied. "I put the tea leaves in the water like you do, and I boiled it, and then I strained it into a cup. But I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the flyswatter."
"You what?"
And the little girl said, "Oh, don't worry, Mom. I didn't use the new flyswatter. I used the old one."
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/musical.html - - One afternoon your ten-year old daughter comes home from school, enthused about learning to play an instrument. Your eyeballs start to throb. Your head begins to pulsate. You ask yourself whether tin ears are passed down from parents to their children. How do you resolve this dissonant dilemma?

AGREEMENT entered into on ___________, 200_ , by noise-averse Parents and instrument wielding Child.

WHEREAS, Child has expressed an interest in studying the sax;
WHEREAS, Parents hate the sax and don't even consider it a real instrument;
WHEREAS, Child argues that playing the sax may lead to the Presidency or at least to a shot on Arsenio Hall;
WHEREAS, Parents concede the worthiness of such goals, but remind Child that after three years of piano lessons she didn't even master Chopsticks and, anyway, shouldn't Child play something feminine like the flute?
WHEREAS, Child's best friend's mother is letting her take up the sax, and if Parents let Child do this one little thing, she promises she will never again crush her cousin's accordion.

NOW, THEREFORE, Parents and Child agree to the following terms:

1. In lieu of studying the sax or the flute, Child shall play the clarinet which is sort of like the sax but much less annoying. The parties further agree that if Child complies with this contract for a year, she may, if she deems it appropriate, switch to the sax. Parents feel safe in making this concession because Child has never complied with anything for longer than a nanosecond.
2. Parents shall pay all clarinet rental bills. Notwithstanding the foregoing, if Child doesn't practice at least one-half hour per day, the obligation to pay such bills shall revert to Child who shall pay them out of her allowance, even if it takes the rest of her life. However, Child's duty to practice shall be void when her body temperature exceeds 101 degrees and when Parents are entertaining guests.
3. Practice sessions shall take place in Child's bedroom with the door tightly shut at all times. In the event a Parent is ill or had a bad day at the office, such session shall at Parents' option be canceled or be conducted in the basement tool closet. Child hereby waives any right she may have to claim that closet clarinet practice constitutes child abuse.
4. Phrases like "But I don't wanna practice" are hereby be banned. Any utterance of same by Child shall increase her practice time, except in the event of a Parental headache.
5. Child shall not be required to regale relatives with clarinet renditions of "Doe A Deer," "Jingle Bells," or "Mary Had A Little Lamb". Nor shall Child inflict same on guests without the mutual written agreement of all interested parties. If Child does in fact perform, phrases such as "she's such a cute little talent" shall be strictly prohibited, especially when accompanied by head patting or cheek pinching.
6. Child acknowledges that she will have to carry the clarinet to school twice a week for lessons and band practice. The weight of such instrument shall not entitle Child to a ride to or from school. Notwithstanding the foregoing, if Child carries more than four school books on any given day, she shall be given a lift by a Parent to be selected in rotation, provided that Child establishes to said Parent's satisfaction that Child used said books within fifteen hours of said ride. Parents concede that Child's arithmetic book is unusually heavy and that it should count as two books in making the aforesaid textbook calculation.
7. Child acknowledges that clarinet reeds are expensive and delicate and agrees to use them only for the purpose of emitting clarinet type sounds. In return for Parents' agreement to supply her with reeds, Child agrees not to chew them, bend them, or feed them to the dog.
8. Parents shall attend Child's band concerts and shall abstain from all embarrassing auditorium activity including but not limited to taking flash photos, jumping up and down in their seats and waving, or yelling "That's my kid. Isn't she great?" Parents further agree to applaud with enthusiasm no matter how much their ears hurt.
9. Child promises that if she ever becomes a famous musician she will give Parents complete credit, especially when she accepts her first Grammy.

WHEREFORE, we affix our signatures.

http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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I am thankful:
For the wife who says it's hot dogs tonight, because she is home with me, and not out with someone else.

For the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

For the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes because it means she is at home, not on the streets.

For the taxes I pay because it means I am employed .
For the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine

For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home

For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech. .

For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation .

For my huge heating bill because it means I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means I am alive.

And finally, for too much e-mail because it means I have friends who are thinking of me. live well, laugh often, & love with all of your heart!

This is to brighten your day. Be thankful for what you have. And remember........
Attitude isn't everything.........It's the only thing.
So choose everyday to see the positive and find the best in everything.

Thanks to Anne Oldham
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Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble?

A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test.

Answer all the questions (only 10)with what describes you best, add up all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results.

Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail before you are done

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2 What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat?
a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5 pts)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt)
d) Hawaii (4 pts)
e) Hollywood (3 pts)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for!

(10-16 points) You are Garfield : You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember, your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17-23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you are never are out of style You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times

(24-28 points) You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts in your life.

(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, and you will be stress free.

(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(44-50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker... Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. You maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once in a while to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!

Thanks to Anne Oldham
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Cutting down on caffeine could help people with type 2 diabetes control their blood sugar levels, according to a new study by scientists at Duke University Medical Center.
The researchers studied a small group of people with established type 2 diabetes who drank at least two cups of coffee everyday and who were trying to manage their disease through diet, exercise and oral medications, but no insulin. Scientists used new technology — a tiny glucose monitor embedded under their abdominal skin — to continuously monitor sugar levels over a 72-hour period.
Participants took capsules containing caffeine equal to about four cups of coffee on one day and then identical capsules that contained a placebo on another day.
The researchers found that when the participants consumed caffeine, their average daily sugar levels went up eight percent. Caffeine also exaggerated the rise in glucose after meals — increasing by nine percent after breakfast, 15 percent after lunch and 26 per cent after dinner.
"We’re not sure what it is about caffeine that drives glucose levels up, but we have a couple of theories," said lead author of the study Dr. James Lane from Duke University Medical School in a news release.
"It could be that caffeine interferes with the process that moves glucose from the blood and into muscle and other cells in the body where it is used for fuel. It may also be that caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline — the ‘fight or flight" hormone that we know can also boost sugar levels."
There are no current guidelines suggesting diabetics shouldn’t drink coffee, but Lane said that day may soon come.
"Coffee is such a common drink in our society that we forget that it contains a very powerful drug — caffeine. Our study suggests that one way to lower blood sugar is to simply quit drinking coffee, or any other caffeinated beverages. It may not be easy, but it doesn’t cost a dime, and there are no side effects," said Lane.

The findings appear in the February issue of Diabetes Care.

Thanks to Barry Brownlee
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Decline in Snowpack Is Blamed On Warming
Water Supplies In West Affected

By Marc Kaufman
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, February 1, 2008; A01

The persistent and dramatic decline in the snowpack of many mountains in the West is caused primarily by human-induced global warming and is not the result of natural variability in weather patterns, researchers reported yesterday.

Using data collected over the past 50 years, the scientists confirmed that the mountains are getting more rain and less snow, that the snowpack is breaking up faster and that more rivers are running dry by summer.

The study, published online yesterday by the journal Science, looked at possible causes of the changes -- including natural variability in temperatures and precipitation, volcanic activity around the globe and climate change driven by the release of greenhouse gases. The researchers' computer models showed that climate change is clearly the explanation that best fits the data.

"We've known for decades that the hydrology of the West is changing, but for much of that time people said it was because of Mother Nature and that she would return to the old patterns in the future," said lead author Tim Barnett of the Scripps Institution of Oceanography at the University of California at San Diego. "But we have found very clearly that global warming has done it, that it is the mechanism that explains the change and that things will be getting worse."

Many in the West and the Southwest depend on the snowpack's springtime melt for power, irrigation and drinking water. When the snow fields melt earlier and more suddenly, dams are able to capture less of the water and must release more of it to flow on to the ocean.

"Our results are not good news for those living in the western United States," the researchers wrote, adding that the changes may make "modifications to the water infrastructure of the western U.S. a virtual necessity."

Although parts of the West have been hit by record snowfalls this winter, the data collected by the team showed that since 1950, the water content of the snowpack as of April 1 each year has decreased in eight of the nine mountain regions studied, by amounts ranging from 10 percent in the Colorado Rockies to 40 percent in the Oregon Cascades. Only the southern Sierra Nevada range did not show a drop.

The study is part of what has become a drumbeat of dire assessments based on reports of quickening climate change caused by the buildup of carbon dioxide from vehicles, power plants, industry and deforestation. Last week, the American Geophysical Union, a leading scientific group in the field, issued a warning that "Earth's climate is now clearly out of balance and is warming."

"Many components of the climate system -- including the temperatures of the atmosphere, land and ocean, the extent of sea ice and mountain glaciers, the sea level, the distribution of precipitation and the length of seasons -- are now changing at rates and in patterns that are not natural and are best explained by the increased atmospheric abundances of greenhouse gases and aerosols generated by human activity during the 20th century," the organization said, in its strongest statement to date on the subject.

Although the decline of the Western snowpack over the past few decades has been documented before, yesterday's study is the most definitive in assigning the blame to human-induced climate change.

Barnett said his team used computer models to assess what natural climate variability, sun spots, volcanoes and climate change could do to the snowpack. The climate-change model best matched the actual trends of the period from 1950 to 1999.

The chance that the model is incorrect, he said, is somewhere between 1 in 100 and 1 in 1,000.

"Given the amount of carbon in the air and the trends for future releases, we have to expect that conditions will get progressively worse for some time, no matter what we do now," he said. His team included researchers from the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, the University of Washington and the National Institute for Environmental Studies in Japan.

Researchers have also predicted that the Southwest is likely to get less winter rainfall as a result of the buildup of greenhouse gases. Because the region gets much of its water from the Colorado River -- one of the rivers affected by the reduced snowpack -- the already-dry area could be losing water from both of its main sources, Barnett said.

Jonathan Overpeck, a climate scientist at the University of Arizona in Tucson, said the new study "closes the circle" in terms of understanding what is happening to the climate of the West.

"Almost all of the models we've seen in recent years show the area becoming warmer and more arid due to climate change, but the question was always whether we could believe them," he said. "Now someone has done the statistical analysis to connect the dots so they can say with real confidence that this is happening because of greenhouse gases."
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This is a very good letter to the editor, and though written in 2006 is still appropriate during this election year. For some reason, people have difficulty structuring their arguments when arguing against supporting the currently proposed immigration revisions. This lady made the argument pretty simple. NOT printed in the Orange County Paper...................
Newspapers simply won't publish letters to the editor which they either deem politically incorrect (read below) or which does not agree with the philosophy they're pushing on the public. This woman wrote a great letter to the editor that should have been published; but, with your help it will get published via cyberspace!

New Immigrants

From: "David LaBonte"

My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of the OC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to "print" it myself by sending it out on the Internet. Pass it along if you feel so inclined.

Dave LaBonte (signed)

Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in the Orange County Register:

Dear Editor:

So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry.

Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States , people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.

They had waved good bye to their birth place to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture.

Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity. Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought alongside men whose parents had come straight over from Germany , Italy , France and Japan . None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from. They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan. They were defending the United States of America as one people. When we liberated France , no one in those villages were looking for the French-American or the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up another country's flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here. These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl.

And here we are in 2006 with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it by playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American is all about. I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900's deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life . I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags.

And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty, it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.

(signed) Rosemary LaBonte

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Many years ago, while watching a little TV on Sunday instead of going to church, I watched a Church in Atlanta honoring one of its senior pastors who had been retired many years. He was 92 at that time and I wondered why the Church even bothered to ask the old gentleman to preach at that age.
After a warm welcome, introduction of this speaker, and as the applause quieted down he rose from his high back chair and walked slowly, with great effort and a sliding gate to the podium. Without a note or written paper of any kind, he placed both hands on the pulpit to steady himself and then quietly and slowly he began to speak.
"When I was asked to come here today and talk to you, your pastor asked me to tell you what was the greatest lesson ever learned in my 50 odd years of Preaching. I thought about it for a few days and boiled it down to just one thing that made the most difference in my life and sustained me through all my trials.
The one thing that I could always rely on when tears and heartbreak and pain and fear and sorrow paralyzed me... the only thing that would comfort was this song..

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong, we are weak but He is strong.....
Yes, Jesus loves me...
The Bible tells me so."

When he finished, the church was quiet. You actually could hear his footsteps as he shuffled back to his chair. I don't believe I will ever forget it. A pastor once stated, "I always noticed that it was the adults who chose the children's hymn 'Jesus Loves Me' (for the children of course) during a hymn sing, and it was the adults who sang the loudest because I could see they knew it was the best."
Senior version of Jesus Loves Me; here is a new version just for us who have white hair or no hair at all. For us over middle age (or even those almost there) and all you others, check out this newest version of "Jesus Loves Me".

JESUS LOVES ME
Jesus loves me, this I know,
Though my hair is white as snow
Though my sight is growing dim,
Still He bids me trust in Him.

(CHORUS)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME... YES, JESUS LOVES ME... YES, JESUS LOVES ME FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.

Though my steps are oh, so slow,
With my hand in His I'll go
On through life, let come what may,
He'll be there to lead the way.

(CHORUS)

When the nights are dark and long,
In my heart He puts a song.
Telling me in words so clear,
"Have no fear, for I am near."

(CHORUS)

When my work on earth is done,
And life's victories have been won.
He will take me home above,
Then I'll understand His love.

(CHORUS)

I love Jesus, does He know?
Have I ever told Him so?
Jesus loves to hear me say,
That I love Him every day.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------------
February 1, 2008
February is Heart Health Month

Today's Message is from Dorothy Weston - Albemarle Corporation - Orangeburg, SC

Amazing Heart Facts

Sure, you know how to steal hearts, win hearts, and break hearts. But how much do you really know about your heart and how it works? Read on to your heart's content!
Put your hand on your heart. Did you place your hand on the left side of your chest? Many people do, but the heart is actually located almost in the center of the chest, between the lungs. It's tipped slightly so that a part of it sticks out and taps against the left side of the chest, which is what makes it seem as though it is located there.
Your heart beats about 100,000 times in one day and about 35 million times in a year. During an average lifetime, the human heart will beat more than 2.5 billion times.
Give a tennis ball a good, hard squeeze. You're using about the same amount of force your heart uses to pump blood out to the body. Even at rest, the muscles of the heart work hard--twice as hard as the leg muscles of a person sprinting.
Feel your pulse by placing two fingers at pulse points on your neck or wrists. The pulse you feel is blood stopping and starting as it moves through your arteries. As a kid, your resting pulse might range from 90 to 120 beats per minute. As an adult, your pulse rate slows to an average of 72 beats per minute.
The aorta, the largest artery in the body, is almost the diameter of a garden hose. Capillaries, on the other hand, are so small that it takes ten of them to equal the thickness of a human hair.
Your body has about 5.6 liters (6 quarts) of blood. This 5.6 liters of blood circulates through the body three times every minute. In one day, the blood travels a total of 19,000 km (12,000 miles)--that's four times the distance across the US from coast to coast.
The heart pumps about 1 million barrels of blood during an average lifetime--that's enough to fill more than 3 super tankers.
Three years after a person quits smoking, their chance of having a heart attack is the same as someone who has never smoked before.
The human heart can create enough pressure that it could squirt blood at a distance of thirty feet.
The first open heart surgery was performed by Dr. Daniel Hall Williams in 1893.
The right lung of a human is larger than the left one - because of the space and placement of the heart.
Olive oil can help in lowering cholesterol levels and decreasing the risk of heart complications.
In 1967, the first successful heart transplant was performed in Cape Town, South Africa.
People that suffer from gum disease are twice as likely to have a stroke or heart attack.
Most heart attacks occur between the hours of 8 and 9 AM.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

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| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------------
January 29, 2008
Something to Think About

Today's Message is from Dick Waller (a Pasadena Albemarle employee).
..............................................................

I responded to a house fire in my neighborhood on Monday, 1-21-08. Since it was a couple of streets over, I went to the scene instead of the fire station. When I got there, a lady was in the driveway crying, telling me they had the fire out. I went to the backyard and found her husband spraying water on the outside of the garage. I asked him what happened and he told me they had plugged in a light and placed it on the ground under a canopy for the dog to keep warm.

"Somehow" a piece of plastic came in contact with the light and caught fire. There was a four wheeler close by and the heat got to the fuel line and melted it which allowed the gas to flow and fuel the fire. The damage was minimal but could have been much worse. The family was just about to leave to go eat lunch and do some shopping. They could have come home to a burned garage or worst a burned down home. Something to think about, huh.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "'Efficiency' at EPA" by Liz Borkowski White House demands for efficiency at EPA are not very helpful, finds a new National Research Council report. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/02/01/efficiency-at-epa/

** "Welsh Coal Miners Did it Their Way" by Celeste Monforton In 1994, 240 coal miners in Hirwaun, Wales were slated to be unemployed due to their mine's closure – so, the miners contributed their severance pay and other funds to buy the mine and keep their jobs. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/welsh-coal-miners-did-it-their-way/

** "Why Do OSHA Standards Remain the Same, Even When the Science Changes?" by David Michaels The beryllium industry's efforts to slow further regulation of their products have been largely successful, even in the face of scientific evidence that OSHA's current beryllium exposure standard is insufficiently protective. Tune into a Public Health Reports webcast on Monday (2/4) to learn more. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/why-do-osha-standards-remain-the-same/

** "Maybe Global Warming Just Isn't a Problem" by David Michaels In candidate debates sponsored by a coal industry astro turf group, questions about global warming haven't been asked. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/30/maybe-global-warming-just-isnt-a-problem/

** "Don't Turn Off That TV!" by David Michaels, Devra Davis, author of The Secret History of the War on Cancer, will be on Book TV this weekend (2/2 and 2/3).http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/30/don%e2%80%99t-turn-off-that-tv/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski China acknowledges that six workers have died in the construction of Olympic venues; plus, news about mine-safety violation fines, an environmental whistle blower lawsuit, and safe patient handling at Minnesota hospitals.http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/30/occupational-health-news-roundup-50/

** "Banning the Bag" by Liz Borkowski Cities, retailers, and countries around the world act to slash plastic-bag waste.http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/29/banning-the-bag/

** "Bush's Actions Louder than SOTU Words" by Liz Borkowski In his last state of the union address, President Bush invoked technology as the cure for our energy and health care woes – but his prescription for treatment of scientists is at odds with his administration's actions.http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/29/bush-actions-louder-than-sotu-words/

** "Bush's FOIA Antics" by Celeste Monforton New Freedom of Information Act legislation requires the Administration to create an "Office of Government Information Services" in the national Archives and Records Administration to review agencies’ compliance with FOIA and serve as an ombudsman for FOIA users. Why is president Bush trying to put that office in the Department of Justice instead?http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/28/bushs-foia-antics/

** "Stop Toying with the CPSC" by David Michaels President Bush has evidently decided to replace current Consumer product Safety Commission Chairman Nancy Nord with someone more competent to safeguard the interests of manufacturers of dangerous products.http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/28/stop-toying-with-the-cpsc/

** "December T2 Lab Explosion Injured Dozens Outside the Plant" by celeste Monforton The Chemical Safety Board released new information concerning the massive December explosion at the T2 Laboratories plant in Jacksonville: In addition to the four worker deaths, 33 people -- more than double the number originally reported -- were injured by flying debris.http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/26/december-t2-lab-explosion-injured-dozens-outside-the-plant/

** "Friday Blog Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Science bloggers convene in North Carolina; bloggers look at funds dedicated to science and healthcare; and there's both good and bad environmental news from Pennsylvania. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/25/friday-blog-roundup-59/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Hello Tammy and all at USMWF,

Just wanted to let you know we're still fighting for worker's safety, remembering those who die on the job and supporting the Protecting America's Workers Act. Here are the videos that were in ABC News NOW's coverage of the State of the Union. These videos are also featured on ABC News NOW's homepages & related items on the ABC News Politics pages. Thanks for checking it out.
Take care!
Michelle Lewis

I'm so proud of my peeps!

Watch Michelle...asking the President to address the unsafe working conditions, week laws and support the Protecting Americas Workers Act and later Michelle asks "when we will have a President who works together with the government to protect American workers."

Talk Back: 2008 State of the Union [http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4207165]
Eight avid viewers discuss what issues the President should focus on.

Talk Back: State of the Union Reactions [http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4207216]Allie, Michelle, Scott and Melinda review the President's speech.

I have been sitting here just trying to think of something to write and all I keep coming up with is I'm just proud. Proud to know Michelle and know she is out there doing all she can to make a difference for families she don't even know. Michelle is not sitting back waiting for an opportunity she is making opportunity. I know it's not much from us all here but the big thumbs up to you and keep up the good work.

One day all of our puzzle pieces will fit together, people will see the full picture and we'll have done it but it takes all the pieces so don't hold back we need your piece to be complete.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Staff Sgt. Robert J. Miller, 24, of Iowa City, Iowa, died Jan. 25 in Barikowt, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when he encountered small arms fire while conducting combat operations. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Special Forces Group (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.

02. Sgt. Tracy R. Birkman, 41, of New Castle, Va., died Jan. 25 in Owesat, Iraq, from non-combat related injuries. She was assigned to the 626th Brigade Support Battalion, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
03. Cpl. Duncan C. Crookston, 19, of Denver, Colo., died Jan. 25 at Brooke Army Medical Center, Fort Sam Houston, Texas, of wounds suffered Sep. 4, 2007, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle during combat operations in Baghdad, Iraq. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 16th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.

04. Sgt. 1st Class Matthew R. Kahler, 29, of Granite Falls, Minn., died Jan. 26 at Forward Operating Base Fenty, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered from small arms fire in Waygul, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, Vicenza, Italy.

05. Staff Sgt. Robert J. Wilson, 28, of Boynton Beach, Fla., died Jan. 26 of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated while he was conducting a dismounted patrol in Baghdad, Iraq. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

06. Maj. Alan G. Rogers, 40, of Hampton, Fla., died Jan. 27 of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated while he was conducting a dismounted patrol in Baghdad, Iraq. He was assigned to the Military Transition Team, 1st Brigade, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.

07. Sgt. Mikeal W. Miller, 22, of Albany, Ore., died Jan. 27 at the National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md., of wounds suffered in Baghdad, Iraq on July 9, 2007, when the vehicle he was in encountered an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 61st Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

The Department of Defense announced the death of five soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died from wounds suffered when their unit encountered an improvised explosive device during convoy operations Jan. 28 in Mosul, Iraq. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
08. Sgt. James E. Craig, 26, of Hollywood, S.C.
09. Staff Sgt. Gary W. Jeffries, 37, of Roscoe, Texas.
10. Cpl. Evan A. Marshall, 21, of Athens, Ga.
11. Spc. Brandon A. Meyer, 20, of Orange, Calif.
12. Pfc. Joshua A. R. Young, 21, of Riddle, Ore.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~~~
First Baptist Church Open Taco Supper tickets-they are $8 each.
It is Feb 21, 5-7:00 pm @ First Baptist Church & includes beverage & dessert.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Col 2:18-19 Phil 1:9-11 Eph 6:12-13 1 Tim 4:12-16 Psa 62:4-7 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Gmail.Com
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, or 07). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
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