Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Better Preaching

Volume 10, Issue 01 Friday, January 04, 2008

Hello All,

Who would have “thunk it?” Barack Obama became the first Black American to win a major presidential primary when he swept the Democratic Caucuses and our former governor Mike Huckabee won the Republican side over candidates who literally spent millions more in Iowa.
Obama profited handsomely from the presence of thousands of independents who flocked to the Democratic caucuses while Huckabee benefitted from evangelicals and other conservative voters.
With little sleep, Huckabee flew out of Iowa, and then pivoted to face a new audience in New Hampshire. The former Arkansas governor pitched his plan for abolishing the Internal Revenue Service and replacing the income tax with a sales tax, and said, "What we're seeing is that this campaign is not just about people who have religious fervor. It's about people who love America but want it to be better and believe that change is necessary, and it's not going to happen from within Washington."
~~~~~
I think the upsets in Iowa are a fitting kick off to the tenth year we’ve been publishing “Da Bleat”. In homage to the political process, this issue, we’re replaying some of our favorite puns and jokes from the last 10 years.
~~
There are a myriad of problems besetting Americans (and the world). War, Plague, Stocks, Crime, high drug prices, etc. Daphne Roberts sent us this story that reinforces my belief in simple answers;
There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery...as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays.
So a World-Wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.
The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., the team members, all doctors and nurses, nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
Just when the clock struck 11, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
~~
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
~~
The fight between good and evil, an epic battle: Darth Vader and Luke. Suddenly in the middle of the fight, Darth Vader pulls Luke to him, and whispers "I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
Luke exclaims "But how??!?"
"It's true Luke, *breathe* I know what you're getting for Christmas."
Luke tries to ignore this, but tears himself free, screaming "How could you know this?!"
Vader replies, "I felt your presents."
~~
Two men are standing at the top of a cliff. One has two budgies, one on each shoulder. The other has a parrot and a shotgun.
The first guy jumps off the cliff and on the way down the birds fly away. He crashes on the rocks below and rolls over on his back. He looks up just in time to see his friend jump off too.
As the second guy falls & the parrot flies off, he pulls up his shot gun and shoots the bird just before he too crashes onto the rocks.
They lie there groaning in agony for a bit before the first guy says, "I really don't see what is supposed to be so great about budgie jumping!"
The second guy lets out a groan and says, "I'm really not too impressed with free fall parrot shooting either!"
~~
A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band.
Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard . . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."
~~
"Doc," the patient says, "I keep seeing talking crickets, talking dogs, talking birds, talking cats.
What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing at all," the doctor answers. "You're just having Disney spells."
~~
A guy get`s shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he`s on a beach. The sand is purple. He can`t believe it. The sky is purple. He walks around a bit and sees that there is purple grass, purple birds and purple fruit on the purple trees. He`s shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn purple too. "Oh no!!" he says, "I think I`ve been marooned!!"
~~
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied a lion asleep on the road. Afraid to wake the lion, he gingerly stepped over him. Immediately, he was confronted by two FBI agents and arrested.
The charge: Violation of the Mann Act: transporting gulls across a sedate lion for immortal porpoises.
~~
Frank was a happily married man who had only one complaint: His wife, Myra, was always nursing sick birds.
One cold November evening he came home to find a raven with a splint on its beak sitting in his favorite chair. On the dining room table there was a feverish eagle pecking at an aspirin tablet, while in the kitchen Myra was comforting a shivering wren.
Frank dropped his briefcase and strode over to where his wife was toweling down the cold little bird. "Myra!" he shouted. "I can't take it anymore! We've got to get rid of all of these da..."
Myra held up her hand and cut him off in mid-curse. "Please dear," she said. "Not in front of the chilled wren!"
~~
William Tell was not only a great patriot and a great archer; he was also a great cook.
One day, after he had prepared a new dish for his friends, he said, "I think there is one or more spices missing. What do you think?"
Their answer was, "Only thyme, Will Tell!"
~~
There are these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from their unit and are lost. They've been wandering for several days without food and water, and are nearly resigned to the fact that they will soon die from dehydration, when as they reach the top of a sand dune, they see a big, bustling market laid out before them.
Naturally, they can't believe their eyes and think it's a mirage, but as they draw closer, they can hear the stall holders' cries, and they eventually reach the market and realize that it's really there. So the legionnaires rush up to the first stall they can and cry to the stall holder, "Stall holder, we have been traveling in the desert for many days, and have had no food or water. We shall surely die soon unless you have some you can sell us. Tell us, do you have any sustenance for us?" The stall holder shook his head and replied "I'm sorry, French legionnaire type people, but all I have to sell is a load of bowls full of jelly, topped with custard and cream, and lovingly sprinkled with hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake."
The legionnaires look at each other, mildly surprised, and move on to the next stall, where they ask the stall holder, "Mr. purveyor of fine foodstuffs and the like, we have been traveling through the desert for days, deprived of the necessary beverages and foodstuffs which are required for survival. We shall surely die soon, unless you can sell us some skins of water."
The stall holder looked at them embarrassed, and confessed "Gentlemen, tragic as I admit it is, I have none of the ingredients necessary to life for which you ask me. All I have to sell is this large bowl of jelly topped with custard and cream and sprinkled with hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake, with a little cocktail cherry in the middle at the top, there," he said, pointing out the glace cherry. "I cannot help you."
The legionnaires look at each other in desperation, and run on to the next stall, where they demand of the stall holder, "Look, mate," (cuz they'd stopped talking funny all of a sudden) "we need water or we'll die. We've been traveling without water for days and need some now. Do you have any you can sell us?"
The stall holder looked at his curl-ended shoes in shame as he confessed, "Sorry, fellas, all I have to sell you is a bowl of jelly, with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake. I can't help you. I'll have to condemn you to a long and lingering death through dehydration."
The legionnaires were really worried by this point, and they went through the market, stall by stall, asking each stall holder whether they had any water they could sell them, and thus save their lives, but each stall holder gave the same reply, all they had to sell was a bowl of jelly with cream, custard and hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake.
Dejected and resigned to their grim fate, the legionnaires left the desert market and walked off into the setting sun.
As they did so, one turned to the other and said, "That was really odd, a big market in the middle of nowhere, and all they sold was bowls of jelly with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake."
The other turned to face his companion and replied...
"Yes, it was a trifle bazaar."
~~
A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature. He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush.
As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morn, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground. After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the lever.
Just as he does, he hears a voice say, "Don't touch that lever."
The driver jumps about two feet off the ground, and as he comes down, he looks around. No one is to be seen. Thinking it was just his imagination, he again reaches for the lever. Again the voice yells, "I said don't touch that lever!"
Being more prepared, the driver senses the location of the voice and looks down under a sage brush. There he sees a small snake.
The driver, in much astonishment, said, "Was that you that just spoke?"
The snake said, "Yes. I have to keep people from touching that lever.
If the lever is moved, it will be the end of the world."
The driver, still rather astonished, said, "What is your name? And will you talk on TV?" The snake said his name was Nate and that he wasn’t interested in going on TV; anyway, he had to stay and watch the lever to see that it wasn't moved.
The driver said, "Look, I will get the networks to send out camera crews. That way, you can inform the entire world about the danger of the lever."
Nate thought that over and allowed as how there was a great deal of sense to the idea. The driver, true to his word, got the network camera crews out. They put on broadcasts in which Nate warned the entire world of the dangers of moving the lever.
A few weeks later, another truck driver was going through the area. He was following an oil tanker, and the tanker sprang a leak. When the driver’s truck hit the slick, it went out of control, and he found himself headed straight for the lever. He remembered seeing Nate on the TV telling about the lever and so he knew that if he hit it, he would cause the world to end. He strove, with all his might to maneuver the truck. Finally, at the last moment, he was able to swerve, but he ran over Nate, the snake, and killed him flat.
The truck driver was heard to say "Well, better Nate than lever."
~~
A Native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide.
A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.
The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two-story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. He challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.
Many tried, unsuccessfully.
Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"
The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."
~~
It was a hot summer day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the "Fourth of July." He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise.
Unfortunately, Opie was late. He had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. They were able to save money on her examinations because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie's cousin. Anyway, the appointment took longer than expected, and Opie was late getting to the marina.
Luke had been drinking all this time, and was feeling no pain. When he saw Opie finally walking down the pier, he jumped up, staggered to the side of the boat to wave to his friend, and nearly fell in! Opie got there just in time to grab Luke.
Thus, it was that O.B. Juan's kin, Opie, saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the Fourth.
~~
Many people are unaware that Frank Sinatra was an ecologist. He found out that the herds of animals in Africa were being forced off their native lands into game reserves where they were more apt to be eaten by their natural enemies due to the crowded conditions.
These animals would congregate around lakes and other bodies of water, but had nowhere to run if they were attacked by their foes. This resulted in abnormal losses in the herds.
Frank, upon finding out about this, donated a LOT of money to trying to find out where there may be some open land to put the animals so they wouldn't be so crowded. Frank's idea was to go to the watering holes and load the animals on large barges and take them to other lands and then set them free.
In order to accomplish this, he had to finance his work through a best-selling song about it. We've all heard the song before. It starts out "Start spreading the Gnus..." The title of the song was, of course, "New Ark, New Ark."
~~
Q. How many ears does Mr. Spock have?
A. Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
~~
In a small country pub, all the patrons became quite used to the pub owner's little dog being around the bar, so they were quite upset when one day the little dog died.
Everyone met to decide how they could remember the little dog. The decision was to cut off his tail and stick it up behind the bar to remind everyone of the little dog's wagging tail.
The little dog went up to heaven and was about to run through the Pearly Gates when he was stopped by Saint Peter, who questioned the little dog as to where he was going.
The little dog said "I have been a good dog - so I am going into heaven where I belong!”
Saint Peter replied "You cannot come into heaven without a tail, where is your tail?"
The little dog explained the what had happened back on earth. Saint Peter told the little dog to go back down to earth and retrieve his tail. The little dog protested that it was now the middle of the night back at the pub, but Saint Peter would not change his mind.
So the little dog went back down to earth and scratched on the door of the pub until the bartender who lived upstairs came down and opened the door.
"My goodness, it is the spirit of the little dog. What can I do for you?" said the bartender. The little dog explained that he wasn't allowed into heaven without his tail, and he needed it back.
The bartender replied "I would really like to help you, but my liquor license doesn't allow me to . . . retail spirits after hours!"
~~
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Web and he won't bother you for weeks...
~~
A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his office and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."
~~
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
~~~~~
Annette is always one of the first people to read “Da Bleat”. She told me that she likes to see what she supposedly said or did the previous week.
~~~~~
Speaking of the past, as reported in Wednesday's Banner-News “Diary” Section; Blast from the past: Someone using the name "thunderbird 1958" has put "All These Things" by The Uniques, a locally-popular band from the 1960s, on YouTube. Nothing dramatic — just the record spinning around as the music plays — but if you’ve longed to hear the song again, there it is.
The Uniques [http://www.joestampley.com/Uniques.htm] were a great group [Ronnie Weiss, Jim Woodfield, Bobby Sims, Bobby Stampley, Ray Mills, Joe Stampley, and Mike Love] that had several hits in the late ‘60s. Their lead singer, Joe Stampley, was from Springhill. You can read more about the Uniques and Joe Stampley in his Wikipedia entry [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Stampley].
Listening to “All These Things” brings back memories of teen dances, “Beatle Wigs”, “KEEL”, Cruising around the “Panther Den”, ordering toast by the slice at the “Steak House”, Mr. Fudge reading excerpts from his love stories to us in English class, road trips with Mr. Luck, fireworks sales, and the pressure to be “cool.” while growing up in the ‘60s.
~~~~~
Did anyone try the French bread recipe in last week’s issue? I did. It was my first try making bread. Does anyone have any small animals they need dispatched? These 12 lb loaves are just about right to use as a club. I sliced one and toasted it. Mamaw and I actually ate some. It wasn’t too bad. But why did it take 30 minutes to toast? David suggested it would make good insulation. It’s also a good diet food. There’s no way you can eat too much of this toast. It takes more calories to digest than it provides.
So, Tuesday morning, I sliced some more and made French toast with the French bread. I liked it. Though it’s the first time I’ve ever had to use a steak knife to eat toast.
~~~~~
Not to be discouraged, this week we tried a new sumptuous whole wheat French bread Recipe: A healthy way to make bread! Just as delicious as in a French Boulangerie! Easy to make by hand or machine. We found this at FamousFrenchDesserts.com who claim to be our personal and authentic guide to French desserts and breads. According to them, Whole wheat French bread recipes are called Pain Complet in French.

Preparation Time: about 20 minutes
Cooking Time: about 30 minutes
Resting Time: about 2 hours

Ingredients:
2 cups Whole Wheat Flour
3 cups All Purpose White Flour
1 Egg
1 tbsp. Sugar
2 tsp. Salt
1 tbsp. Dry Active Yeast

How to make whole wheat French bread recipes:

1. Sift the two flours together into a large bowl. Mix in salt and sugar with hand. Move the ingredients to the sides of the bowl, creating a large "well" (an empty space) in the middle.
2. Pour the yeast into the "well" and pour 2 cups of lukewarm water over the yeast. Sprinkle about 1 tbsp. of flour over top. Wait (about 10 minutes) for bubbles to appear in the yeast.
3. Once the bubbles have appeared, you can start to mix together the ingredients (hands work best) to form the dough. The best way to do this is to gradually incorporate the flour that is "waiting" on the sides of the bowl. Doing it all at once will be too difficult. So, go bit by bit, if it's too liquid, just add a bit more flour at the end. You should finish this "pre-kneading" stage with a round, firm ball of dough. Again, if it's too sticky, add a little more flour.
4. Kneading: remove the bread from the bowl and place on a lightly floured surface. Knead it by pushing your palms into and then turning it one quarter. Keep kneading and doing quarter turns for about 5-10 minutes, or until the bread is supple and non-sticky.
5. Place the bread in a lightly floured bowl and cover with a damp dish cloth. Let it rise for about 2 hours (depends on the room temperature, you want it to be fairly warm). It should double in size.
6. Preheat oven to 400̊F. Re-sprinkle a counter top (or other surface) with flour. Prepare a baking pan by lightly oiling and flouring it (or bake on top of parchment paper). With your hands, remove bread and place on floured surface. Punch it down once, hard, with your palms. Now, re-shape it into a ball. Put the ball on the baking pan. Using a sharp knife, cut diagonal lines across the top of the bread. Whisk the egg, and using a brush (or a teaspoon) coat the top of the bread. Put in oven and bake for 30 minutes (more or less, depending on how much you like it browned).
Voilà!

Tips for whole wheat French bread recipes:

If your yeast doesn't bubble, it's no longer active or you didn't use lukewarm water. You should start over in this case, because the bread will not rise.

Freezing: If you are planning on freezing the bread, only bake it for 20 minutes. Wait for it to cool, then wrap in tin foil, put in a plastic bag and freeze. When you want to serve it, just preheat oven to 400̊F, bake inside of foil for 10 minutes and then remove foil and let brown for about 5 minutes.

Variations for whole wheat French bread recipes:

Add anything that you would like to make different kinds of whole wheat French bread recipes… raisins, dried cherries, sunflower seeds or other grains, poppy seeds, sesame seeds… the possibilities for whole wheat French bread recipes are endless! So, enjoy your culinary creativity!

Serving ideas for whole wheat French bread recipes:

The recipe above will make one large, country style round loaf. Of course, you can cut up the dough and make smaller loafs right before transferring to the baking pan.

So, to make whole wheat baguettes just smooth the dough out into an elongated shape.

You can also make individual sized portions.

Whatever you choose, just remember to always decorate the top by carving diagonal lines with a sharp knife. And also, survey baking times for different sizes. Enjoy!

http://www.famousfrenchdesserts.com/whole-wheat-french-bread-recipes.html

This bread turned out much better than my other attempt. Still not New Orleans good but at least it is eatable. I’ve toasted it with breakfast for several mornings and, if you put enough jelly on it, it’s not too bad.
~~~~~
Is “Da Bleat” “Green”? In some sense we are. The majority of our subscribers read the “Blog” version, which doesn’t involve the destruction of any trees. And the Text, PDF and Word Subscribers probably also read on line. We do print out an Archive copy each week but that is double sided so we’re reducing its tree footprint by half.
But the real reason I bring up “Going Green” is that whether you’re a liberal or conservative, it’s still good business to conserve energy and resources. One issue that popped up on the radar this week is plastic water bottles. Chicago is instituting a $0.05 tax on each bottle of water sold. They say it’s to discourage people from wasting the bottles, but the truth is that it is slated to bring in around 10 million dollars in revenue. Do the math. $10,000,000.00 divided by $0.05 = 200,000,000 bottles discarded in Chicago each year. That’s a whole lot of plastic which means a whole lot of oil to make the bottles and a whole lot of land to dispose of the empties.
In Magnolia, we have great tap water and that’s what I drink. I usually bring a cup of ice water with me to work and refill it during the day. But our office building was built without a restroom or running water on our end of the building, and it’s easier to put bottles of water in our break room refrigerator or to use the bottled water cooler in the mail room than go to the other end of the building and refill you cup from the tap.
Many of my co-workers use plastic “sport” water bottles, but we don’t have an easy way to wash dishes and I’ve never liked the hygiene of reusing such a container over and over. Bud reuses bottles of “store bought” water by stripping the label off (to indicate that it’s a “refill”) and refilling the container. He keeps them in his refrigerator.
In the plant maintenance and production areas, we’ve found that placing coolers full of bottled water where people are working greatly improves the water drinking habits of employees. Better hydration equals better health especially in hot weather.
So I still support the use of individual bottles of water when appropriate. But what about all those bottles being thrown away? Nalgene makes a wide mouth, dishwasher safe, water bottle designed for folks that want to carry a bottle but also want to be able to easily wash them. [http://www.nalgene-outdoor.com/] Nalgene is a company that is familiar to me from my days working in the lab. So I’m planning on buying a couple of these and using them to “save the planet.”
~~~~~
The number of people with diabetes has been growing exponentially. And many of them don’t fit in the “normal” diabetic mold (i.e. overweight, sedate) Now, a new study shows that after three nights of poor sleep, healthy people can lose their ability to process sugar by 23 percent -- a problem that in the long-term could lead to weight gain and diabetes.
Comparatively speaking, those in the experiment who were deprived of good sleep experienced a drop in metabolism similar to what would have been seen had they gained between 17 and 28 pounds.
So maybe our sleep habits are responsible for our diabetes?
~~~~~
But there is help for our health. PHYSIQUES WILL HELP THE COMMUNITY AND ITS MEMBERS TO LOSE “IT” AT THE CLUB THIS WINTER!

Magnolia –January 7 – In 2008, nearly 120 million Americans tried to lose weight and those who exercised in a health club experienced success in doing so. This winter, Physiques will kick off a program designed to further assist its members to achieve success in their individual fitness programs. I Lost It at the Club! is an 8-week motivational weight loss program, coordinated by the International Health, Racquet & Sports club Association (IHRSA) and sponsored by Physiques, designed to kick-start the renewed exercise programs of existing club members who might have taken time off for the holidays and new members alike. The program will begin on January 7, 2008 and end March 3, 2008. Participants may sign up anytime from January 7-11th, no membership necessary.

“Our club staff is extremely excited about this program,” said Leanne Fallin, Owner of Physiques. “For many of our members, the start of the New Year signifies a time of renewal – for some it’s a time to reinvigorate existing fitness programs, and for many it’s a time to embark for the very first time in a fitness program. Our goal is to use I Lost It at the Club! As a positive, high-energy means to both help our members achieve their individual goals and to foster a sense of community within our club.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), "regular physical activity helps to control weight; contributes to healthy bones, muscles, and joints; reduces falls among older adults; helps to relieve the pain of arthritis; reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression; and is associated with fewer hospitalizations, physician visits, and medications. Moreover, physical activity need not be strenuous to be beneficial; people of all ages benefit from moderate-intensity physical activity." U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Physical Activity and Health: A report of the Surgeon General. [Rockville, MD]: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Public Health Service, Office of the Surgeon General; [1996]. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The Surgeon General’s call to action to prevent overweight and obesity. [Rockville, MD]: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Public Health Service, Office of the Surgeon General; [2001].

Physiques will launch I Lost It at the Club! January 7th-11th, 2008. Participants in the program will receive activity cards designed to make every workout different and fun and periodic newsletters filled with useful information and exercise tips. Program winners will be announced on March 10, 2008. Physiques will also launch I Lost it At the Club Resist-a-Ball classes and hold how-to-keep-it-off workshops.

For additional information about the program, visit www.physiquesfitness.net.
~~~~~
And Extreme Image Fitness Center offers a Corporate Rate for Albemarle Employees of
$60 per family per month. Memberships come with a Body Analysis and 3 personal training sessions to customize a workout to fit your needs. Call 870-234-1555.
~~~~~
It was inevitable. We’ve Outsourced so many business to India, it was only a matter of time before we hired women from India to handle our Pregnancies for us.

(AP) - Every night in this quiet western Indian city, 15 pregnant women prepare for sleep in the spacious house they share, ascending the stairs in a procession of ballooned bellies, to bedrooms that become a landscape of soft hills.
A team of maids, cooks and doctors looks after the women, whose pregnancies would be unusual anywhere else but are common here. The young mothers of Anand, a place famous for its milk, are pregnant with the children of infertile couples from around the world.
A clinic at Kaival Hospital in ANAND, India matches infertile couples with local women, cares for the women during pregnancy and delivery, and counsels them afterward. More than 50 women in this city are now pregnant with the children of couples from the United States, Taiwan, Britain and beyond. The women earn more than many would make in 15 years.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=2007-12-31_D8TS7R381&show_article=1&cat=breaking
~~~~~
MamMaw is improving daily. She’s more alert and stronger. But, also more easily upset than when she was over medicated. So it’s a tossup between balancing the medication and having a bearable home life.
She and Annette went to Camden to take Mike to lunch, then drove on to Texarkana to shop and pick up “Lee’s” take our for our supper. After supper I asked MamMaw if she’d had a big day and if it tired her out doing all that shopping and traveling. She said; “Yes, but I needed it.”
~~~~~
Grave side services for Mrs. Yvonne Coston, Wanda Cotton's Mother, were today, Friday, January 4th, at 2:00 p.m. at the Waldo Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, the family requests a memorial be made to the donor's choice or to the American Cancer
~~~~~
We were saddened to hear of the death of Adam Baugh, the son of Jimmy Baugh and stepson of Patricia Baugh of Engineering.
~~~~~
GARDEN SEMINAR - - Sponsored by Columbia County Master Gardeners

Saturday, January 26 - 9:00 am - 12:00 noon - - Immanuel Baptist Church Fellowship Hall
1823 E. North - Magnolia, AR

Garden Thyme - Door Prizes - Seed Exchange

Guest Speakers; Janet Carson, Extension Horticulture Specialist - U of A, Pat Teague, RN, Loice Lacy, Director of Haynesville, LA Butterfly Festival

Registration Fee - $5.00 - All proceeds go to the Columbia County 4-H Jr. Gardening Contest

Mail $5.00 to Columbia County Master Gardeners, c/o Janet Warren, P.O. Box 2443, Magnolia, AR 71754 or Call 870-904-2258 or 870-515-0127 to register by phone
~~~~~
With prisons around the country filled to bursting, and with states desperate for ways to bring down recidivism rates that rise to 70 and 80 percent, some policymakers are taking a fresh look at treatment- oriented approaches like Missouri's as a way out of America's juvenile justice crisis.
Here, large, prison-style "gladiator schools" have been abandoned in favor of 42 community-based centers spread around the state so that now, even parents of inner-city offenders can easily visit their children and participate in family therapy.

The results?
_About 8.6 percent of teens who complete Missouri's program are incarcerated in adult prisons within three years of release, according to 2006 figures. (In New York, 75 percent are re-arrested as adults, 42 percent for a violent felony. California's rates are similar.)
_Last year, 7.3 percent of teen offenders released from Missouri's youth facilities were recommitted to juvenile centers for new offenses. Texas, which spends about 20 percent more to keep a child in juvenile corrections, has a recidivism rate that tops 50 percent.
_No Missouri teens have committed suicide while in custody since 1983, when the state began overhauling its system. From 1995 to 1999 alone, at least 110 young people killed themselves in juvenile facilities nationwide, according to figures from the National Center on Institutions and Alternatives.

Does this "law-and-order" state know something others don't? "What is remarkable about Missouri's system is that is has been sustained by conservative and liberal governments," says Krisberg, of the national crime and delinquency council. "They've seen that this is not a left-right issue. In many ways, it’s a commonsense issue."
A common-cents issue, too—since it costs states between $100 and $300 a day to keep a juvenile in so-called "punitive" correctional facilities, according to a 2005 report by the Youth Transition Funders Group, a philanthropy network. Missouri's per capita cost of its juvenile rehabilitation program is $130 a day.

"Twenty years ago, people threw up their hands and said, 'We don't know what works.' But now, we actually do know ... We're just not doing it—or not doing enough of it."
~~~~~
Greetings:

As I prepare to return to Iraq and Afghanistan, I have tried to catch up with the news as we see it in the United Kingdom and United States. It's amazing how heavily slanted and often just plain wrong the "news" from the war is reported, especially on television. (Believe it or not, media in United Kingdom makes American media seem fair and honest.)

Readers who subscribe to the RSS feeds for my website might have noticed some recent links to news articles. One news item, about the "controversy" around body armor systems for our military personnel, hit close to home, especially while I prepare to go back into combat. My dispatch on this is called: "The Battle over Body Armor." [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/news-flash-the-battle-over-body-armor.htm]

Changes are occurring on the website to enhance the features, thanks to readers' support. At this time, as I replace, repair--and in some cases retire--gear, your support is very much appreciated. The next few months in Iraq will be critical, and with your continued support I will be in the thick of it, sending back frontline news and firsthand information.

Stay warm and safe.

V/r
Michael Yon
http://www.michaelyon-online.com/
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Nicholas Worthington:

The prevalence of munitions and the repeated use of roadside bombs in the Iraq War make Air Force Senior Airman Nicholas Worthington’s skills in high demand on the ground. As an explosive ordnance disposal (EOD) technician with the 377th Civil Engineer Division, Worthington’s ability to disarm Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs) and other munitions made him an invaluable asset during his tour of duty. From March to August 2006, while deployed with the 447th Air Expeditionary Group near Baghdad, Worthington supported the air assault element of the 101st Airborne Division. He took part in 95 EOD emergency response missions and was responsible for neutralizing 70 IEDs, 2,151 ordnance items and 43,042 rounds of ammunition, as well as locating numerous weapons caches and performing multiple post-blast analyses.

Worthington’s tasks often placed him in the line of fire. In June 2006, the back vehicle of his convoy hit an IED. As his team assessed the site during a post-blast analysis, they found a wire running from the blast area to a nearby house. While moving toward the house, another IED went off, throwing Worthington to the ground, wounding him and briefly causing him to lose hearing in his left ear.

Worthington immediately shook off the shock and provided aid to his team leader and another soldier who was also hurt, before a medic could arrive at the scene. Small-arms fire then erupted from the nearby house. Worthington shielded his team leader from the enemy with his body and laid down suppressive fire, pinning down the insurgents inside the house and giving the team time to regroup and relocate. After twenty minutes, the fighting subsided, as Worthington and his team eliminated the insurgent threat. Worthington then helped carry the wounded to an evacuation helicopter.

In another mission, Worthington cleared a substantial weapons cache located between two IEDs while under hostile fire. After a sniper hit his team leader, Worthington fired back at the enemy, and was able to neutralize the second IED and make sure the team safely got out of the battlefield.

Worthington also successfully completed a 28-hour rescue operation, as he responded to a shot-down Apache helicopter. Worthington neutralized four IEDs in the area with a Talon robot, while under RPG, mortar and small-arms fire. Worthington’s team took no casualties during the operation.

For his courage under fire and saving the lives of several Coalition service members, Worthington was awarded the Bronze Star in September 2006.
~~~~~
If you appreciate our service members, tell them. Say “Thank You.” [http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/fullmovie.php]

For the past several years as I've [scott@gratitudecampaign.org] been traveling around the country, I've been approaching soldiers in the airports and thanking them for serving for us. On several occasions I have noticed that it felt a little awkward for both of us. There are several reasons, some of which I am even just now learning as I produce this film and talk to more soldiers. But they have always appreciated being thanked, and I have always felt better having expressed my gratitude.

I started to think that it would be nice if civilians had a gesture or sign that they could use to say "thank you" quickly and easily without even having to approach. I did some research and found the sign that we are now using.

Is this limited to the military? Not at all. If you look around you I'm sure that you'll find lots of people who are serving their communities, from local to global. If you appreciate their service, give them a sign. Say "thank you."

The sign we are using is intended to communicate "thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

To make the sign simply place your hand on your heart as though you're saying the Pledge of Allegiance. Then pull your hand down and out, bending at the elbow (not the wrist), stopping for a moment at about the belly button with your hand flat, palm up, angled toward the person you're thanking.

http://www.youtube.com/gratitudecampaign
Thanks to Waneta for sharing this video with us.
~~~~~
To all members and prospective members, the next AR-1 Disaster Medical Assistance Team meeting will be Saturday, January 26 at the AR-1 Cache in Little Rock. [http://www.ar1dmat.com/]

The Arkansas disaster medical assistance team, or AR-1 DMAT, is composed of dedicated volunteers focusing on providing expertise in dealing with large scale emergencies such as earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, accidents, and other mass casualty incidents can easily overwhelm any area’s emergency medical system. Often, patients with survivable injuries greatly outnumber available ambulances and skilled emergency responders.

AR-1 DMAT members are trained in the special concepts and procedures involved in mass casualty incidents, or MCIS. All team members receive extensive training, including classroom work and practical field exercises.

Sarah Shepherd - EMT - B
AR - 1 DMAT
National Disaster Medical System
HHS / OASPR / OPEO
Kathie Short
AR-1 DMAT Administrative Officer
National Disaster Medical System
HHS / ASPR / OPEO
~~~~~
Surprising statistics. More than half of Americans visited a library in the past year. That’s more than we would have thought. But there’s a more surprising statistic in the survey released on Sunday by the Pew Internet & American Life Project.

Of the 53 percent of U.S. adults who said they visited a library in 2007, the biggest users were young adults aged 18 to 30 in the tech-loving group known as Generation Y. Wow! That is a surprise, until you read further in the report.

"Internet use seems to create an information hunger and it is information-savvy young people who are most likely to visit libraries." Internet users were more than twice as likely to patronize libraries as non-Internet users, according to the survey. So, they’re using the computers in the library. And that jives with our own experience of seeing most of the local libraries computers busy when we visit.

So what were they doing on the libraries computers? Sixty-five percent of them looked up information on the Internet while 62 percent used computers to check into the library's resources.

Well, that still leaves 35% of them possibly there to check out a book. And whether they are reading or surfing, Libraries remain a community hub or gathering place in many neighborhoods, like Magnolia.
~~~~~
This week we’ve switched back to fiction and we read; “Shadow woman” by Thomas Perry and The courtship by Catherine Coulter.
Now we’re reading; “Justice denied”: a J.P. Beaumont novel by J.A. Jance
We plan on reading: "The Coldest Winter: America and the Korean War" by David Halberstam
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
~~~~~
If you’d like to write Dr. Antoon, he’d like to hear from you. This is his current address, the latest of the three federal prison’s he’s been in.
Patrick Antoon #06669-010
Federal Prison Camp-La Tuna
P. O. Box 8000
Anthony, NM/TX 88021
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include Annette, David and Bobbie watching Zac’s play, Josiah and I visiting the fire truck, Ethan investigating the hall closet and Stacy Garcia.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat4Q07.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Posole with fresh corn gorditas
Dietitian's tip: Posole, a Southwestern main-course soup, is typically made with pork shoulder that is simmered with hominy — large, dried corn kernels that have had their skin removed. Here, lean pork tenderloin is used. - - SERVES 6
Ingredients

½ cup fresh corn kernels (cut from 1 ear) or frozen kernels, thawed
2/3 cup masa harina or cornmeal
2 tablespoons whole-wheat (wholemeal) flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon plus 1 ½ teaspoons canola oil
3 to 4 tablespoons water
1 small onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 cups vegetable stock or broth
2 cups water
1 cup dried hominy, soaked overnight and drained, or 3 cups canned hominy
3 Anaheim chilis, seeded, roasted and peeled, then chopped
½ pound pork tenderloin, trimmed of fat and cut into 3/4-inch cubes
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro (fresh coriander)
Sliced radishes and red onions and shredded lettuce for serving

Directions
Preheat the oven to 400 F. Place the corn kernels in a blender or food processor and pulse to puree partially. Set aside. In a small bowl, combine the masa harina, flour, baking powder, red pepper flakes and salt and stir until well blended. Add the pureed corn and the 1 tablespoon canola oil and stir to combine. Add the water, 1 tablespoon at a time, until the dough comes together.

Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and roll out to 1/4 inch thick. Using a 1 ½-inch round cookie cutter, cut out 24 rounds. Arrange the rounds on a nonstick baking sheet and bake until light brown, 10 to 12 minutes. Transfer the gorditas to a wire rack to cool.

In a soup pot, heat the 1 ½ teaspoons oil over medium heat. Add the onion and sauté until soft and lightly golden, about 6 minutes. Stir in the garlic and sauté for 1 minute. Add the stock, water and hominy. Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover and simmer until all the hominy kernels have burst, 75 to 85 minutes. (If using canned hominy, skip the long cooking and proceed directly to adding the chilis and pork.) Add the chilis and pork, return to a simmer, cover and cook until the pork is just faintly pink at the center, about 4 minutes. Add the gorditas to the soup pot, cover and let stand off the heat for 4 minutes. Stir in the cilantro.

Ladle into warmed individual bowls. Pass the radishes, onion and lettuce at the table.

Nutritional Analysis
(per serving)
Calories 285 Monounsaturated fat 4 g
Protein 13 g Cholesterol 25 mg
Carbohydrate 43 g Sodium 427 mg
Total fat 8 g Fiber 4 g
Saturated fat 1 g

Source: This recipe is one of 150 recipes collected in The New Mayo Clinic Cookbook, published by Mayo Clinic Health Information and Oxmoor House, and winner of the 2005 James Beard award. By Mayo Clinic Staff - Jul 26, 2006
© 1998-2007 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER). All rights reserved. A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. "Mayo," "Mayo Clinic," "MayoClinic.com," "EmbodyHealth," "Reliable tools for healthier lives," "Enhance your life," and the triple-shield Mayo Clinic logo are trademarks of Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/healthy-recipes/RE00051
~~~~~
'In Defense of Food' Author Offers Advice for Health by Steve Inskeep Morning Edition, January 1, 2008 [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17725932] 
Michael Pollan, author of In Defense of Food, offers advice on how to eat to achieve maximum health. Courtesy Penguin Group

"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." That's the advice journalist and author Michael Pollan offers in his new book, In Defense of Food.

"That's it. That is the short answer to the supposedly incredibly complicated and confusing question of what we humans should eat in order to be maximally healthy," Pollan tells Steve Inskeep.

'Eat Food'

The implication of Pollan's advice, however, is that what we're eating now isn't food.

"Very often, it isn't," he says. "We are eating a lot of edible food-like substances, which is to say highly processed things that might be called yogurt, might be called cereals, whatever, but in fact are very intricate products of food science that are really imitations of foods."

Pollan acknowledges that distinguishing between food and "food products" takes work. His tip: "Don't eat anything that your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as food."

Take, for example, the portable tubes of yogurt known as Go-Gurt, Pollan says. "Imagine your grandmother or your great-grandmother picking up this tube, holding it up to the light, trying to figure out how to administer it to her body — if indeed it is something that goes in your body — and then imagine her reading the ingredients," he says. "Yogurt is a very simple food. It's milk inoculated with a bacterial culture. But Go-Gurt has dozens of ingredients."

'Not Too Much'

A large part of the conversation about food — like debating low-fat and low-carb diets — serves as a way of avoiding the idea that maybe we're just eating too much, Pollan says. He says his advice about how to limit consumption is based less on science, which he says "has failed us when it comes to food, by and large," and more on culture.

"Cultures have various devices to help people moderate their appetite," he says. "Once upon a time, there was scarcity. We don't have that anymore; we have abundance. But if you go around the world, you find very interesting tricks and devices."

One is small portion sizes, Pollan says. "The French manage to eat extravagantly rich food, but they don't get fat, and the reason is that they eat it on small plates, they don't have seconds, they don't snack."

In Okinawa, Japan, a cultural principle called "Hara Hachi Bu" instructs people to eat until they are just 80 percent full, Pollan says. "You do know when you are full, and the idea of stopping eating before you reach that moment … if you do that, you will actually reduce your caloric intake quite a bit," he says.

'Mostly Plants'

Finally, eating plants is very important, Pollan says. "There is incontrovertible but boring evidence that eating your fruits and vegetables is probably the best thing you can do for preventing cancer, for weight control, for diabetes, for all the different, all the Western diseases that now afflict us," he says.

But can you follow Pollan's advice and avoid processed foods without spending a ton of time and money?

"You're going to have to spend either more time or more money, and perhaps a little bit of both," Pollan says. "And I think that's just the reality. It's really a question of priorities, and we have, in effect, devalued food. And what I'm arguing is to move it a little closer to the center of our lives, and that we are going to have to put more into it, but that it will be very rewarding if we do.

"And if we don't, by the way, we are going to suffer from this — you know, we hear this phrase so many times — this epidemic of chronic disease. But the fact is, we are at a fork in the road. We're either going to get used to chronic disease, and be … in the age of Lipitor and dialysis centers on every corner in the city, or we're going to change the way we eat. I mean, it's really that simple. Most of the things that are killing us these days — whether it's heart disease, diabetes, obesity, many, many cancers — are directly attributed to the way we're eating."

from IN DEFENSE OF FOOD by Michael Pollan.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
1/4/2008
What People Really Think of Us

As I discovered in Watergate, we humans have an infinite capacity for self-justification—which is why it is pretty good to get a reality check and find out how others see us. After all, only your closest friends tell you if you have bad breath.

That is a service David Kinnaman, president of Barna polling, and Gabe Lyons, one of our Centurions, have performed for us with their new book, unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity . . . And Why It Matters.

Kinnaman and Lyons spent three years polling young, unchurched Americans to find out what they thought about Christianity. Millions of young people, they discovered, see us as judgmental, hypocritical, anti-homosexual, too political, insensitive—and boring. Ouch!

Your immediate reaction—like mine—is that this characterization is grossly unfair. Why don’t these folks recognize all the good things we do, like helping prisoners and Africans with AIDS?

The answer is that, fairly or not, hostile press characterizations of us as judgmental, homophobic bigots have stuck. But this is only half the answer. A shocking 50 percent of respondents said they base their negative views on personal contacts with Christians.

As the authors write, “Many of those outside of Christianity . . . reject Jesus because they feel rejected by Christians.”

Let’s be honest: Sometimes we do come across as judgmental, anti-homosexual, and excessively politicized. And all too often, when others misrepresent Christianity, we do not know enough about our own doctrines to explain the truth. Yes, we draw millions into our churches on Sunday, but let’s face it: We draw them in by offering therapeutic services that make them feel better, but not be better.

This truth was dramatically acknowledged last month by Bill Hybels, founder of the successful Willow Creek Church movement, when he announced the results of a survey conducted of his own members: Heavy involvement in church programs did not translate into spiritual growth and maturity. To his everlasting credit, Hybels had the integrity to announce the findings and repent.

Hybels clearly understands the problem: What the Church needs to do is to make disciples, to grow people in the faith, not be spectators. We must teach them what Christians believe and how to live out these doctrines in all of life. Like Hybels, church leaders need to examine whether they are making disciples and encouraging holy living.

This is exactly why Prison Fellowship recently revised its mission. We recognize that we must not just get prisoners into Bible studies; we’ve got to work with them toward a transformed life and help train them when they get out—a much tougher job, but it is what Jesus demands.

And this is why I have written a new book, The Faith, Given Once, for All, being released next month. It explains what all true Christians believe, why we believe it—and why it matters. We need to know what we believe so we can live changed lives—and defend Christianity against its detractors.

unChristian providentially challenges us at the very moment many are waking up to the need to clean up our own house. Once we do this, we will be able to reach out to those outside the faith and—in a loving, non-judgmental way—offer them the glorious Truth.

unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity . . . And Why It Matters by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons.

Anne Morse, “Postmodern Wells,” The Point, 11 December 2007.

Anne Morse, “All You Need Is Love (and Prayer),” The Point, 7 November 2007.

Martha Anderson, “Two New Must-Read Books—Just in Time for Christmas,” The Point, 2 November 2007.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 071205, “Rethinking Church: Where Is Willow Creek, and Where Are We?”

Preorder a copy of Chuck Colson’s new book The Faith today!

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics. © 2008 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
multifarious: having great diversity or variety.
bibulous: of, pertaining to, marked by, or given to the consumption of alcohol.
gelid: extremely cold; icy.
ebullient: high-spirited.
Zeitgeist: the spirit of the time.
faineant: doing nothing; idle; also, a do-nothing.
arcanum: a secret; a mystery.
obdurate: hardened in feelings or in wrongdoing; unyielding.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Never ask anyone if you should do something, if ultimately you are afraid to do it. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble." - Dr. Laura Schlessinger

"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." - Epictetus (55-135AD)

"There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing he was educated in." - Will Rogers

"New Year's Day is every man's birthday." - Charles Lamb

"The past is never dead - it is not even past." - William Faulkner

"Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities." - Theodore Roosevelt
~~~~~
AMATEUR RADIO CLASS

A two-day class that includes instruction and testing for a ham radio license will be held
January 12th & January 19th - 8:00 AM – 5:00 PM

This class will be presented through the Arkansas Department of HealthPreparedness Video Conferencing Equipment at the following locations:

Johnson Regional Med, /Clarksville
Washington Regional Medical, Fayetteville
Conway Regional Health Sys, Conway
Ashley County Medical Center, Crossett
Baxter Regional Medical Center, Mountain Home
Stuttgart Regional Medical Center, Stuttgart
Crossridge Community Hospital, Wynne
Magnolia City Hospital, Magnolia
St. Bernard’s Medical Center, Jonesboro
St Joseph Mercy Health, Hot Springs
White County Medical Center (White County Medical Foundation), Searcy
White River Health Sys (Stone County Med Center), Mt. View

Ham radio providers are an important communications link during emergencies.
Study materials will be provided free of charge. There is a $14 fee for the exam.

Presented by: The Arkansas Chapter of the American Radio Relay League, Arkansas Department of Health and Partner Hospitals
~~~~~
Link List
[http://gasprices.mapquest.com]
[http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/]
[www.terryscomputertips.com]
[www.mcc2000.net]
[http://blog.safetyservicescompany.com/Default.aspx]
[http://www.team-ninja.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=41321]
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

20,000 People Turn Out at RCA Dome in Indianapolis to Send Off Troops to Iraq
arrow President Bush May Visit the Church of the Beatitudes in Capernaum While in Israel
arrow International researchers address first ever conference on Men and Abortion

# One Church's Quest to be God's Hand and Heart, Reaching out to London's Hardest Communities
# Study Shows "Religiously Active" Working Women are Less Stressed
# Huge Pro-Life Demonstration in Spain Ahead of Elections
# Will Graham, Franklin's Oldest Son, continues in Family's Footsteps of Faith

# Rioting in Kenya after Election—more than 300 Killed in Violence
# Chile Ushers in New Year with Volcanic Eruption
# To Protect Children, Australia Mandates "Clean Feed" Internet Service to Households and Schools
# Pope says Family is Key to World Peace

# "In God We Trust" to Return to Prominent Position on U.S. $1 Coins
# Former Cocaine Addict Turns His Life Over to Jesus
# New Year's Resolutions for a Believer

# Assyrian revival stirs in Turkey
# Young Filipino Girl Receives Artistic Gift While Hospitalized With Lupus—Now Paints to Help Others
# The Courage of Benazir Bhutto and Anwar Sadat

# Bhutto was a "remarkable, pro-life" Woman, Says Feminists For Life
# Christian Leaders Lament Benazir Bhutto's Murder
# Truth, Trust and Transformation: One Ojibwe Woman's Story of Hope

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Better Preaching

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor/ Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by F-Secure before it was sent.
------------------------------------------

After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better than the preacher we had last Sunday. He spoke for an hour and said nothing."

"Thank you," the visiting preacher replied.

"Yes," she continued. "You did it in fifteen minutes."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: How to Quit Smoking

From the Good Clean Fun Archives
------------------------------------------

At a New Year's party, Peter turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.

"I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking," Ken responds.

"I’m in the process of quitting," replies Peter with a grin. "Right now, I am in the middle of phase one."

"Phase one?" wonders Ken.

"Yeah," said Peter, "I've quit buying."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Colosseum

Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to:
JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

A husband and wife, vacationing in Rome, were being shown through the Colosseum.

"Now, this room," said the guide, "is where the slaves dressed to fight the lions."

"But how does one dress to fight lions?" inquired the husband.

"Very slow-w-w-w-w-w-ly," replied the guide.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Attainable New Year's Resolutions

From the Good Clean Fun Archives
------------------------------------------

This year I resolve to...
- Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
- Stop exercising. Waste of time.
- Read less. Makes you think.
- Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
- Buy a 1983 Cadillac ElDorado and invest in a really loud stereo system and get the windows tinted.
- Buy some fur for the dash.
- Not swim with piranhas or sharks.
- Never make New Year's resolutions again.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: New Year's Dinner

From the Good Clean Fun Archives
------------------------------------------

As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.

Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.

"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I ordered a pizza online. \ /
\ _/ How do I download it? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why does the sun on the \ /
\ _/ Raisin Bran cereal box \_ /
/ / wear sunglasses? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / "How long have you \ \_/ ////
\ / been working here?" \ /
\ _/ \_ /
/ / "Since they threatened to fire me." \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / "The most terrifying words in \ \_/ ////
\ / the English language are: \ /
\ _/ I'm from the government and \_ /
/ / I'm here to help." \ \
-Ronald Reagan
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / Imagine what the world would \ \_/ ////
\ / sound like if the inventor of \ /
\ _/ the telephone had been \_ /
/ / Alexander Graham Siren. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@slonet.org |
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor |
|____________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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To all my friends who sent me best wishes in 2007, or promises of good luck if I forwarded something, it did NOT WORK. For 2008, could you please just send either money, chocolate or gas vouchers.
Thank you!

Thanks to Larry and Sandy Barnes
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At the risk of wasting bandwidth, here's George Carlin's comments about this... Phil Clark
=========================
George Carlin's Views on Aging
=========================
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day- by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I 'm 100 and a half !" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever Your home is your refuge .
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Thanks to Claiborne Sharp
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Lost Phone

My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"

I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?"

There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!"

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

Bikers

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man and pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then he took a seat at the counter.

The second walked up to the old man and spit into the old man's milk, and then he took a seat at the counter.

The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver, either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

L Train

One December morning, I headed down the steps to catch my subway, the "L" train. A sign on the platform declared that the line was not running, but there was bus service above-ground.

I was rushing back up the stairs when I passed two women descending.

"No 'L,'" I gasped as I ran by.

"And a Merry Christmas to you too," they called out, continuing down the stairs.

Received from Becky D..

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
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The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://madkane.com/newyearscontract.html - - IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED
What is it about December 31st that spurs fantasies of self-reform? Is it too much food and drink? Seasonal exuberance? Lunacy induced by crowds?

Every December, otherwise rational people make resolutions meant to transform them into organized, addiction-free souls with clean houses, healthy bodies, wholesome relationships, perfect children, and career paths soaring to the top -- the same vows they made last year and the year before that.

Can our resolutions endure past January 1st? Can we make it to year's end without ripping up our lists?

AGREEMENT entered into this ___________ (Date) by Husband and Wife (jointly called "Couple").

WHEREAS, New Year's Eve is coming and Couple feel compelled to make some vows:

NOW, THEREFORE, Couple make the following New Year's Resolution Agreement:

DIET:

1. Couple shall reduce their caffeine and cholesterol intake. Additionally, they shall not tempt each other with ice cream or chocolate, except on special occasions. The following are not special occasions:

a. National Notary Public Day

b. Air Conditioning Appreciation Day

c. American Aardvark Week

2. Husband and Wife shall modify their alcohol intake. Husband acknowledges that "lite" beer counts.

EXERCISE:

1. Couple shall join a health club and occasionally show up. Such attendance will entail actual use of equipment.

2. Couple shall encourage each other to exercise, but shall not be pushy. Remarks such as the following will be avoided:

"I did 30 minutes on the bike. How much did you do?"

If such remark is made, the proper response shall be: "I used more resistance, so there."

3. Couple shall not spend gym time staring at attractive torsos. When caught ogling, the proper defense is: "I was just checking out her (his) technique."

Husband and Wife will pretend to believe this.

4. When Couple cannot get to the gym, they shall make reasonable efforts to use their virgin exercise bike. In order to facilitate same, Husband shall remove his clothing from the bike and, for incentive purposes, try same on.

FINANCES:

1. Couple shall establish a college fund for their children. Additionally, they shall try to keep annual expenses below 110% of yearly income.

2. Couple shall create a budget for necessities such as housing, utilities, food, clothing, doctor bills, cable, bowling league, poker allowance, etc.

FAMILY:

1. Couple will spend more quality time with their children. Quality time is defined as periods when everyone is awake and nobody is yelling.

2. Husband will not criticize the children's choice of music ... until he stops listening to the Stones.

3. Couple shall not hit the children, no matter how severe the provocation, and shall limit discipline to scolding and confining them to their rooms. Couple shall remember to confiscate computer games before such confinement.

4. Couple shall make reasonable efforts not to spoil the children. Couple shall also make reasonable efforts to spoil each other.

5. Couple shall try to get along with their respective parents ... and shall forgive each other when they fail.

CHORES:

1. Husband shall not spend all afternoon doing a five minute chore.

2. Husband shall stop pretending he knows how to fix the plumbing.

3. Couple shall not feign incompetence in order to avoid certain tasks. For example:

a. Husband acknowledges that he knows how to operate the dish washer.

b. Wife admits she knows how to pump gas.

However, neither Husband nor Wife knows how to fill out health insurance forms.

RESOLUTION VIOLATIONS:

1. Husband and Wife shall not nag each other when they fall afoul of their resolutions. Gentle reminders, however, are permissible. The following are not deemed gentle:

a. "That's what you call a diet?"

b. "Get up you lazy slob and take out the garbage. Or have you already forgotten your resolution?"

2. The following are acceptable responses to resolution violations:

a. "If you consult our Resolution Agreement, you'll find it excludes beer and bon-bons."

b. "Honey, would you please refer to our agreement and, after having done so, take out the damn garbage."

3. Husband and Wife shall exercise restraint when resolution violations occur. They shall also take detailed notes...to get a head start on next year's list.

WHEREFORE, we affix our signatures:

(Husband)___________________ (Wife)___________________

http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
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Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, 'Let me explain the problem science has with religion.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'
'Yes sir,' the student says.
'So you believe in God?'
'Absolutely.'
'Is God good?'
'Sure! God's good.'
'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'
'Yes.'
'Are you good or evil?'
'The Bible says I'm evil.'
The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'
'Yes sir, I would.'
'So you're good...!'
'I wouldn't say that.'
'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'
The student remains silent.
'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'
'Er...yes,' the student says.
'Is Satan good?'
The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'
'Then where does Satan come from?'
The student falters. 'From God'
'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'
'Yes.'
'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'
Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'
The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'
'So who created them?'
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'
The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'
'No sir. I've never seen Him.'
'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'
'No, sir, I have not.'
'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'
'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'
'Yet you still believe in him?'
'Yes.'
'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'
'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'
'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'
The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'
'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'
'And is there such a thing as cold?'
'Yes, son, there's cold too.'
'No sir, there isn't.'
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.'
'Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'
Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'
'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'
'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.'
'In reality, darkness isn't.. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'
The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'
'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'
The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'
'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.'
'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'
'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'
'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'
'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'
The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.
'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'
The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter.
'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.'
'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'
Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.
Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'
'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'
Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'
To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'
The professor sat down.

Thanks to David Lamb
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/

January 4, 2008
Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "Good-bye to MSHA's Stickler" by Celeste Monforton John Pallasch has been named assistant labor secretary for mine safety and health, replacing Richard Stickler as the head of MSHA. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/goodbye-to-mshas-stickler/

** "As If Taking Down Your Christmas Tree Wasn't Depressing Enough … Now You Can Worry About Lead!" by Christina Morgan According to CNN, laboratory tests using the CPSC's wipe test for lead in polyvinyl chloride revealed that the amount of surface lead on Christmas light strands "far exceeded" CPSC's recommended exposure limit for children. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/as-if-taking-down-your-christmas-tree-wasn%e2%80%99t-depressing-enough/

** "Flagrant Disregard for Miners' Safety Leads to $220,000 Penalty" by Celeste Monforton A coal mine operator in Hazard, Kentucky received a $220,000 penalty from MSHA for flagrantly violating electrical lockout/tagout procedures; the hefty monetary penalty was authorized under the2006 MINER Act for flagrant violations. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/03/flagrant-disgregard-for-miners-safety-leads-to-220000-penalty/

** "Restoring FOIA: Improvements Due by 2009" by Celeste Monforton President Bush has signed a bill amending the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA); when it takes effect at the start of 2009, it should remove some of the disclosure obstacles erected over the past seven years. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/03/restoring-foia-improvements-due-by-2009/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Industry leaders make predictions about trends in workplace safety; chemical company Rohm and Haas faces a lawsuit over brain cancer deaths among former employees of its Spring Hill facility; and several strengthened mine safety standards passed after the Sago disaster have yet to be implemented. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/occupational-health-news-roundup-46/

** "2007: A Deadly Year for Law Enforcement Officers" by Celeste Monforton Three police officers killed responding to a domestic disturbance complaint in Odessa, Texas, were among the 186 law enforcement officers killed on the job in 2007—a 28% increase in fatalities compared to 2006. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/2007-a-deadly-year-for-law-enforcement-officers/

** "Top Environmental Stories of 2007" by Liz Borkowski At AlterNet, Grist writers list the top 15 environmental stories of the past year; while climate change is the dominant theme, the list also includes stories we've covered at The Pump Handle: our unsustainable food system, hazardous toys, and judicial rebukes of Bush administration environmental policy. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/top-environmental-stories-of-2007/

These items were posted prior to the holidays:

** "Who's Looking After the Cooks' Lungs?" by Celeste Monforton You might think that OSHA would investigate the potential hazards posed by diacetyl-containing items used in restaurant kitchens, but it was investigative reporter Andrew Schneider of the Seattle PI who took on the task. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/21/whos-looking-after-the-cooks-lungs/

** "Friday Blog Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Bloggers focus on federal research funding, the Farm Bill, concerns about health-related donations to poor countries, and the meanest and greenest of 2007. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/21/friday-blog-roundup-55/

** "Looking for caskets instead of holiday gifts" by Celeste Monforton
The family members of those lost in workplace accidents – like the
four men killed in the lab explosion in Florida – are often too
shocked and grieving to follow the details of investigations into
their loved ones' deaths, but they deserve to be kept informed.
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/21/looking-for-caskets-instead-of-holiday-gifts/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Thursday, January 03, 2008
New Blog Alert - The Safety Blog

The Safety Blog has just been launched with News and Tips from Safety Services Company Professionals.

The blog is updated at least once everyday. They cover injury prevention tips, news, articles, and and will be adding a question/answer program. All of this is provided completely free and without advertisements as a public/community service.

It is strange we were just discussing this in the support meeting. There are times when we can't find an answer to safety issues presented. Now we have an avenue for the tough ones. So have at it and give them something to do.

We wish you the best of luck!

Sunday, December 30, 2007 - Workplace Relief - This one is for all the Kentucky Hillbilly Hick remarks I get, "don't make me go Jerry Springer on ya." Keep them coming cause I can take it and by the way I don't have a collection of belt buckles...HAHA (C) but unfortunately I can't deny going barefoot.

Weekly Toll: Death In The American Workplace

Family mourns loss of man killed in collapse of trench - SHEPHERDSTOWN, WV - Andrew J.E. Robinson, 39, of Falling Waters, is survived by his wife and children. The family of a 39-year-old Falling Waters man who died Monday after being injured during a trench collapse near Shepherdstown are mourning the loss of a man they described as a person who would do anything for anyone. Robinson was installing a sewer line when the trench collapsed. The cause of death was blunt force trauma to the chest and abdomen and was accidental, according to Catherine Bailey, a spokesperson for the office of the chief medical examiner in Fairfax, Va.

Local farmer killed in tractor accident - LENOX TOWNSHIP, OH — George W. Ewing was a prominent figure in the Ashtabula County agricultural industry. A tragic accident claimed the life of a prominent farmer within the Ashtabula County agricultural industry Saturday afternoon. George W. Ewing, 88, was killed after he slipped off of his tractor while climbing onto it at his farm on East Union Street. he slipped and the tractor ran over him,” When he slipped on the tractor, Ewing apparently grabbed the lever that engages the tractor, causing it to move forward. The tractor went over his legs and the trailer went over the rest of his body, Lyness said.

Lineman killed after being struck by SUV - LEBANON, PA – A Cambria County lineman who was helping repair damage to power lines from Sunday’s ice storm was killed when he was struck by a vehicle Wednesday afternoon at his work site

Worker killed at Longmont turkey plant - LONGMONT, Colo. - A worker at the Butterball turkey plant in Longmont has died after he was pinned under a tractor-trailer rig.

Worker Crushed At Northeast Arkansas Steel Plant - AR - Mississippi County officials say a Missouri man was crushed to death Friday morning at a steel-processing plant in Armorel, east of Blytheville. 30-year-old Brandon Johnson of Caruthersville, Missouri, a town in the Missouri Bootheel just north of Mississippi County, died of injuries suffered in the accident shortly before 7:45 a.m. Johnson was working at a table that holds large steel coils weighing approximately 3,000 pounds. The report said the table, which was tilted up, apparently fell on Johnson, pinning the lower half of his body to the floor.

Ironworker killed in fall - PA - He was welding at the site of Temple's new medical building in N. Phila. An ironworker doing construction at Temple University's new medical building in North Philadelphia died yesterday morning after accidentally falling about five stories, it's possible a harness broke, authorities said.

Worker dies after train car derails, Police unsure how BNSF employee was injured fatally

YORKVILLE, IL - A Burlington Northern Santa Fe railway employee was killed Friday morning in a train derailment here. At around 10 a.m., police were called to the 200 block of Wheaton Avenue near the F.E. Wheaton lumber yard, west of Route 47, where they found a partially overturned train car and a deceased worker. Authorities do not yet know how the employee, who was working on a crew involved in a routine switching operation on a side track, was killed. Steve Forsberg, Burlington Northern Santa Fe Regional general director of public affairs, said he does not know how the fatal injuries occurred.

Clyde teen dies of injuries suffered at work - TOLEDO, OH - A Clyde teen injured at his place of employment last week died Monday, was operating a forklift when the incident happened. Sanford thought he put the lift in park, but instead placed the machine in neutral and walked in front, Sanford was struck and then pinned between a trash receptacle and the lift.

Kenosha trench collapse kills construction worker - KENOSHA, Wis. - Authorities have recovered the body of a sewer construction worker in the Kenosha County town of Somers who was trapped and killed when wet soil inundated the deep trench where he was working.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Petty Officer 1st Class Victor W. Jeffries, 52, of Honolulu, Hawaii, died Dec. 31, 2007 as a result of injuries suffered Dec. 24 in a vehicular accident in Kuwait. He was permanently assigned to the Navy Expeditionary Logistics Support Group, Kuwait.

02. Pfc. Joseph R. Berlin Jr., 21, of Chelsea, Ala., died Dec. 30 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries suffered in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the Special Troops Battalion, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

03. Sgt. Reno S. Lacerna, 44, of Waipahu, Hawaii, died Dec. 31, 2007 in Al Qayyarah, Iraq, of a non-combat related illness. He was assigned to the 87th Corps Support Battalion, 3rd Sustainment Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

04. Pfc. Brian L. Gorham, 21, of Woodburn, Ky., died Dec. 31 at Fort Sam Houston, Texas, of wounds suffered on Dec. 12 in Afghanistan when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, Camp Ederle, Vicenza, Italy.

05. Sgt. Shawn F. Hill, 37, of Wellford, S.C., died Jan. 2 in Khowst Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 178th Engineer Battalion, 218th Infantry Brigade, South Carolina Army National Guard, Rock Hill, S.C.

06. Staff Sgt. Ryan D. Maseth, 24, of Pittsburgh, Pa., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Jan. 2 of injuries suffered in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 5th Special Forces Group (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky.

07. Pfc. Joshua R. Anderson, 24, of Jordan, Minn., died Jan 2 in Kamasia, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. He was assigned to the 6th Squadron, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Jan. 3 in As Sadiyah, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit using small arms fire during combat operations. Both Soldiers were assigned to the Military Transition Team, 1st Brigade, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan. Killed were:
08. Maj. Andrew J. Olmsted, 37, of Colorado Springs, Colo.
09. Cpt. Thomas J. Casey, 32, of Albuquerque, N.M.
~~
Sailor Missing from WWII is Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing from World War II, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is Seaman 1st Class General P. Douglas, U.S. Navy, of Newcomb, Tenn. He will be buried Jan. 26 in Sneedville, Tenn.

On July 6, 1943, the light cruiser “USS Helena”was struck by torpedoes fired by Japanese destroyers off the coast of Kolombangara Island, Solomon Islands, in what would become known as the Battle of the Kula Gulf. More than 700 servicemen were rescued, but Douglas was one of more than 150 servicemen who were missing as the ship sunk.

In June 2006, a resident of Ranongga Island, Solomon Islands, notified U.S. officials that he exhumed human remains and Douglas’ dog tag that he found eroding out of the ground near a trail by his village. The officials contacted the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) who subsequently traveled to Ranongga Island to examine the burial location where they verified that no additional remains were present.

Among dental records, other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA in the identification of the remains.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest
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The Columbia County Quorum Court will meet at 5 p.m. on Monday, January 7 at the County Courthouse.
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Scheduled Activities
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CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via "Fuzzy" Thurman
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Ezek 36:26-27 Eccl 3:1-8 NIV http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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